Childcare

This week, I’d like to discuss the emotive issue of childcare – who to leave your baby with, from what age and what your options are.

Parents

There is an argument for mums to look after their children full time until they go to school and I think that is what my mum did for me. You could even home school if you wanted to continue being with your children full-time and believed that was in their best interest.

I’m finding the childcare situation hard. I love being with my son and he is my responsibility. At the same time, childcare is so demanding that, occasionally, I want a break to be ‘me’ again and not the constant food source / entertainment / companion. We’re in a fortunate situation that Dillon’s grandparents want to babysit for us when they can, but we are also looking into a nursery place for when I go back to my studies and to work.

Nursery

The advantages of a nursery are that your child learns to socialise with other children from a young age, to share, to interact and be stimulated, even educated. I think the main disadvantages are going to be if it’s not a good nursery. There is also the cost (up to £60 a day), which is hopefully outweighed by you being able to earn a salary.

Another consideration is the waiting list. I had no idea how long it can take to get a place. It can take up to months, especially for popular nurseries.  Some mums even sign up for a nursery place while they are pregnant! I was told the best start date for a baby is September / October, because a bunch of kids leave in September when they start school and all the younger age ranges move up a class. By January, most nurseries are full again.

Relatives

Relatives may have no charge attached but it’s important to not take them for granted. Some grandparents almost want to be a parent again and they may offer full time childcare, and in some situations this is the only viable financial solution for a family.

Nanny

Other options are a childminder or a nanny or au pair but I’m not looking for full time childcare and I don’t want someone looking after Dillon in our home. I think the main disadvantage of an individual is if they wanted to be abusive or neglectful there is no-one around to notice. At a nursery, there are a lot of staff and more controls are in place over professional standards of care and competence.

The only way you can tell if a nursery is right for you is by visiting a nursery in person. I went to see two last week and both were well advertised, one was rated Good in an OFSTED report, the other OUTSTANDING and within the first ten minutes of being in each nursery I knew that one wasn’t right for my son and the other one was.

Babies’ age

In terms of age, I’m looking for Dillon to start at nursery two days a week from six months old.  Maternity leave in the UK is allowed for up to 12 months, so six months may seem very young, but some nurseries accept babies from six weeks old. I was told that the average age for babies starting at nursery is currently between nine and 12 months old. A benefit for starting childcare at six months or earlier is that the baby is not so attached to the parent that they get upset when you leave them.

Whether Dillon misses me or not at nursery, I know I will find it hard to leave him there. But I want to provide for him and I want to be a good role model. I hope it all works out.

What the baby has been doing this week

Dillon is a smiler. For the first few weeks of their life babies only smile when they pass wind! and they start to genuinely smile from between six and eight weeks old. I wish I had written down when Dillon first smiled or laughed, but it is genuinely delightful when he does and he has been doing so for a good six weeks, maybe longer. He responds very well to people smiling at him if they hold their faces close and he imitates other people’s laughter.  In the past couple of weeks he has noticed our dog fetching balls and toys and this makes him laugh.

Classes

We’ve recently signed Dillon up for baby sensory classes and also to swimming classes starting in September, so I’ll report on those when they start. I went to a free taster class for the baby sensory and it was very good for the children, a lot of songs, baby signing, toys, a puppet show, a light show (felt like an early introduction to children’s theatre!) and a chance to meet other mums and have a chat. Dillon spent the hour staring at everyone and everything and slept really well afterwards.

Until next time – if you work with children, please be good to them!

© Wendy Thomson

Wendy Thomson is the editor of www.femalearts.com an online publication which promotes women in the arts and in business.