Tag Archives: splitting up

What You Need To Know About Divorce

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Five most common misconceptions about divorce

Couples considering divorce often have a number of misconceptions about the legal process and financial settlement which can cause unnecessary stress. Caroline Bourn, solicitor at Buss Murton Law LLP, Tunbridge Wells has highlighted the five most commonly mentioned by clients to help people keep a sense of perspective on the proceedings.

Caroline Bourn comments: “You would naturally expect clients to have a number of questions about the divorce process but is seems many people confuse what they see or hear in the media. Also people need to make sure they tie up all the loose ends of their divorce as they often don’t realise that there can be ongoing financial responsibilities towards a former spouse.”

1. To allow a divorce to go ahead the Respondent signs the Divorce Petition.

No, when the court sends the Divorce Petition to the Respondent they will also send a blank form called an acknowledgment of service form which should be filled in and returned to the Court within seven days. This form asks specific questions to which the court need answers to be able to grant the divorce – simply signing the petition is not enough.

2. The Decree Nisi brings your marriage to an end.

As reported in the press recently, Liz Hurley’s marriage “ended” in divorce when the Judge pronounced their Decree Nisi. This is not the case, marriage does not end on Decree Nisi, they end on Decree Absolute. The earliest possible date you can apply for Decree Absolute, if you are the Petitioner, is 6 weeks and a day after Decree Nisi. If you are a Respondent it is a further 3 months after the Petitioner could first apply and even then there may be a hearing before a Judge. However, often neither party will apply for Decree Absolute, unless there is an agreement about the finances and that has been known to take years in some cases.

3. You can get a quickie divorce like lots of celebrities seem to do.

Not even the celebrities get quickie divorces, they have to use the same system as the rest of us. Normally, if things go very smoothly, it will take around 6 to 8 weeks from the date the petition is issued by the Court to the date of Decree Nisi and as it will be a minimum of 6 weeks and a day from Decree Nisi before you can apply for Decree Absolute, and even then it may not be in your best interests to be divorced, as you may no longer benefit from death in service and pension benefits and even any inheritance from your ex.

4. Your soon to be ex can put the family home up for sale without your agreement.

Kevin Webster from Coronation Street managed to put the family home up for sale, despite his wife Sally making it clear she did not agree. In the real world any estate agents worth their salt would ensure that all the owners of the property agreed to put the property on the market for sale before marketing the property.

All the legal owners have to sign a contract and a Transfer document and without these a sale could never go through. One person can never force another person to sell a property unless there is a court order which states the property must be sold. Obtaining a Court order is an expensive and often time consuming process and would not be granted without a hearing before a Judge.

5. If you are divorced then your ex can’t make a claim on your money.

If you divorce without sorting out a financial agreement then it does not matter how long ago you divorced, either you or your ex can apply to the court to make a claim. The only bar on this would be that a person who has remarried could not make a claim on an ex, but if you have remarried, and your ex has not then your ex can still make a claim on you. All your assets and to a certain extent those of your new spouse would have to be disclosed to a court and would be considered in any court proceedings.

The only way to avoid this is to have an agreement drawn up which is then approved by a Judge. This document is called a Consent Order and it will contain an agreement that once approved by a Judge is binding upon you and your ex.

If after the divorce you inherit or win the lottery (remember Nigel Page who paid £2million of his Euromillions lottery win to his ex of 10 years last year), then you are safe in the knowledge that your ex can’t make a claim on your money. Once a Court have approved a Consent Order neither party can come back to make a claim on assets, properties or pensions, although if the Consent Order states that maintenance will be paid then the door is left open so that if circumstances change then the maintenance can be varied.

Just split up? It’ll cost you £5k to get over your ex

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Every year millions of Brits find themselves single again with the failure of the relationship taking its toll on their bank balance as well as their emotions.

A survey by borro.com, the UK’s leading online pawnbroker, has found that 88% of people spend up to £5,000 to get over an ex; splashing out on nights out, holidays and even new cars to make themselves feel better. Surprisingly, men spend more than women, with 36% shelling out between £1,000 and £5,000 post break-up. Women seem to opt for cheaper ‘pick-me-ups’ with up to £100 going on a new look or pampering.

And the length of time you have been with your partner also has an effect on how much you’ll spend getting over him / her. A massive 43% of relationships in the North West last less than two years and only £100 or less is spent getting over the end of the relationship for two in five people. Relationships in the East Midlands last longer, with 39% surviving three to five years, and 51% spending between £1,000 and £5,000 when they end.

It also seems that men are more sentimental than women, with four out of five men unwilling to use an item given by their ex to fund a post-breakup spending spree. In stark contrast, more than 30 percent of women would happily sell or pawn a present from an ex partner to raise some fast cash. A massive 57% of Scots are happy to say goodbye to a once cherished present, while sentimental souls in the North East would never consider this.

Paul Aitken, Founder and CEO of borro.com says: “We often see people use our service to free up cash to treat themselves after a break up. It’s the ideal option, as if they change their mind and get back together with their ex, they can get their jewellery or watch back and their ex will be none the wiser!”

Dr Pam Spurr, relationship expert and author of The Breakup Survival Kit said, “Although people will find these statistics surprising, I find one of the first things people do after a breakup is look for a quick-fix to feeling better. Often that means treating themselves to a luxury item or for women a makeover where it’s a case of ‘out with the old and in with the new look’!

“Sometimes an element of revenge goes hand-in-hand with this expenditure and a broken-hearted person feels justified pawning a present their ex gave them to use the money as they please.

“What some will find most surprising is that men appear to be more sentimental about hanging on to a present from their ex. In my experience, though, men can be very good at covering up their heartache but will take a breakup every bit as hard as women.

“Challenge yourself to try something new so you break free of ‘ex-related thinking’ – the faulty belief that your new life can ever be as good as your old life with your ex.”