Tag Archives: stress

Amazing Products You Need to De-Stress

Posted on by
SBC ARNICA MUSCLE SOAK – £15 SBCSKINCARE.CO.UK
Harnessing Arnica’s renowned comforting properties, SBC Skincare’s Arnica Muscle Soak works to help alleviate muscular tension and fatigue. The perfect start to your night-time self-care ritual, simply pump into a steaming bath, lie back, breathe in the delicate herbal aroma, and let the stress soak away. Notes of rosemary, sweet orange and ylang-ylang aid relaxation, while Arnica Montana helps to soothe your aching body, so you can truly unwind at the end of a hard day.
 
EMBRYOLISSE LAIT-CREME CONCENTRE – £13 BOOTS
Used as a mask in your self-care routine, this cream combines ingredients of natural origin, rich in essential fatty acids and vitamins to provide the skin with nutrients and water for its balance and helps protect it from aggression. Moisturised and nourished, the skin becomes supple and elastic once more. It is plumped, smoothed, and incredibly soft. Signs of dryness and discomfort are reduced, leaving the skin feeling soothed.
MYLEE NAIL POLISH ESSENTIALS KIT – £89 MYLEE.CO.UK

Whilst not something that’s going to instantly de-stress, doing your nails can be used as a distraction and quite a therapeutic activity. The Mylee Nail Polish Essentials Kit comes with a Pro LED Lamp, 4 stunning MyGel Polishes, Top and Base Coats, Gel Remover, and Wipes so you have everything you need to take 10 minutes for yourself.
ONLY CURLS EXFOLIATING SCALP SCRUB – £24 ONLYCURLS.COM
Another step to add to your self-care routine, as it is suggested that a scalp massage can help ease the stresses of the day and promote feelings of relaxation. It can also work wonders for your hair if combined with a scrub that will gently exfoliate to remove product build-up, excess oil and dead skin cells that gather at the root of your hair, thus promoting healthy hair growth.

Top 20 most Stressful Things about Parenthood

Posted on by

baby, shared parental leave, feminism, equality, childcare, leave, maternal, work, working mothers, lean inThe answer to this could be everything. No, we jest. A recent poll of 2,000 parents has revealed the Top 20 most stressful things about parenting. The nightly teeth-cleaning battle, the bedtime routine and the dreaded school run are among the most stressful things about parenthood, a study has found.

The average mum and dad spend almost two hours a day feeling stressed, with trying to keep the house tidy the most common cause.

Others feel the strain at bath time, while trying to get children to behave in public and shopping for new clothes with the youngsters in tow.

Mornings – complete with getting the children out of the door for the school run, persuading them to finish their breakfast and clean their teeth – are the most stressful time of the day, claiming five of the 10 top stresses.

Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who has been working with belVita Breakfast to help relieve parents, particularly in the mornings, said: “The stress and challenges of parenting can feel overwhelming – especially when we feel under pressure to get a lot done in a short space of time.

“Morning can be especially challenging and it’s key to develop a positive, convenient routine in the morning as it sets the rhythm for the day.

“When it’s ‘back to school time’, trying to get everything done and leaving the house on time is at its most pressurised so developing strategies that you give you and your family a sense of control is really important.”

The study by belVita Breakfast of 2,000 parents of school-age children, found that staying on top of the house chores is the biggest cause of stress for mums and dads, while getting the children to do their homework and the bedtime routine are also big triggers.

Researchers also found the average parent spends one hour and 48 minutes of each day feeling stressed, with 63 per cent going as far as to say the majority of their stress is parenting related.

Mornings are the worst time of day for parents with the average mum and dad having at least one day a week where they struggle to get out of the front door on time for school and work.

The children taking too long to do things is usually to blame for the family’s lateness, followed by youngsters not doing as they are asked and not getting out of bed.

But as a result of the frantic mornings, one in five parents has dropped the kids off at school after the bell and the same percentage have ended up late for work as a result.

Others have given the children lunch money instead of a lunch box, sent them to school in dirty or un-ironed uniform or with wet hair.

As families prepare for the dreaded ‘back to school’ week, it’s not just kids who bear the brunt of the ‘morning madness’, with over a third of parents forgetting breakfast and 38 per cent having a fight with their partner over who takes on the most in the morning.

Eighty-seven per cent even said they look forward to the weekends when they don’t have to worry about the school run and leaving the house on time.

It also emerged that 66 per cent of parents believe mums bear the brunt of the morning and back to school stress, with half admitting they often argue with their partner about who gets the raw deal.

 

 

Top 20 most stressful things about parenthood

1. Keeping the house tidy and the chores up to date

2. Getting the children ready and out of the door in time for school

3. Getting back into a school/morning routine after the school holidays

4. Getting children to do their homework/reading

5. The bedtime routine

6. Getting children to eat certain foods

7. Getting children to clean their teeth

8. Making sure my children are well behaved in public

9. Getting back into a school/morning routine after the school holidays

10. Getting children out of bed in the mornings

11. Meal times

12. The school run

13. Entertaining children on a rainy day

14. Remembering everything they need for school

15. Shopping for new clothes

16. The back to school period

17. Getting children to sleep through the night

18. Getting children to eat their breakfast

19. Juggling your children’s different after school/weekend clubs schedule

20. Getting children dressed in the mornings

 

 

Planning Tips For Your Dream Wedding

Posted on by

wedding, weddings, wedding planning, wedding book, wedding advice, wedding tips, wedding planning tips, wedding survival guideMany women have dreamed of their wedding day since they were little girls. Although I didn’t and had no idea what I wanted on my big day after getting engaged. I had to start getting some ideas together and make what felt like a million decisions. It was fun but it was stressful. To cut down the stress for other brides I wrote my wedding planning book. Hopefully it will make the journey easier for other brides. In the meantime, here are some tips for creating your dream wedding.

Your Dream Wedding: Wants And Compromises.

You may have a specific idea of your wedding in mind but the reality will probably be different. This doesn’t need to be a bad thing. Just choose the things that you are not willing to negotiate on. When you know what is most important and worth spending money on you can focus on that and then look at cheaper options for other things. Or rope family and friends in. Most will be happy to help.

Budget.

This is the tough one but you need to work out what it is and then you need to stick to it. Enquire if any family members can help and then sit down with your fiancé and have a proper discussion about what you can and cannot afford. There is no point in going into debt for a wedding or taking out a loan. It is only one day of your life, an important one, but one day. You can have an amazing wedding on a small budget. No one should start their married life in debt. Watch out for the ‘W’ bomb. As in ‘wedding’. The W word makes everyone vastly put their prices up.

Guessing cost.

Always overestimate. That way you won’t be left short. Always remember VAT. Some venues and suppliers will be coy about whether VAT is included but ask them and get a direct answer and then make a note of it.

How much it will cost.

This is the question. The answer is: quite a bit. My husband and I managed to get married for less than £10,000. We paid for the majority of this ourselves but did have some family members contribute. Not bad when the average wedding costs £21,000. Spreadsheets are your friend. Negotiating will also be your friend. Try to get money off everything. Don’t take the first quote and rope family and friends into the planning if money is tight.

Controlling Costs.

This is very important. Watch out for VAT and always account for everything. Use a spreadsheet if you can. Keep an eye on the small things as they can all add up.

Dealing With Suppliers.

When dealing with suppliers always remember that you are the customer. Be polite but always be firm. Read the small print and make your wishes clear. More importantly, don’t pay any final invoices until everything has been checked. One supplier charged us for VAT despite the fact they said they wouldn’t. Hmm. Always be careful.

Hatton Gardens. 

Hatton Gardens is the area in London where all of the jewellers are located. You can get a very good deal here.

Spreadsheets

Spreadsheets are your friend. If you don’t know how to do one then quickly brush up your skills. They will be your saving grace. Have one for your wedding budget and one for your wedding guest list. For the wedding guest list one, leave space for information such as dietary requirements, RSVP received, gift given and thank you card sent.

Organisation Tips

Have everyone’s contact details to hand. Use spreadsheets and have plenty ‘to do’ lists. Make sure your partner pulls his or her weight. Weddings are hard and stressful to organise, don’t go it alone.

Wedding Planner: To Go It Alone Or Hire Help.

If I had the money I would have hired a wedding planner in an instant. However, they are expensive and you don’t really need one. I am not saying that in a rude way, they will save time and probably a lot of money but weighing up the cost is important. Your venue might have a wedding planner or venue coordinator onsite. If so, this is a tremendous bonus.

If you get a wedding planner make sure you check their recommendations and also have a clear idea of what you want. It is their job to take your ideas and make them into the wedding of your dreams. Don’t accept anything less, budget permitting.

If you are getting married then get your hands on a copy of The Wedding Survival Guide: How To Plan Your Big Day Without Losing Your Sanity. It has great advice on planning your perfect wedding and is written by our editor, Catherine Balavage. It is also available in Ebook format and is a great guide for wedding planning.

 

 

How To Make Your Home Move Stress Free By Cameron Richardson

Posted on by



When people are asked about the most stressful experiences of their life, predictable answers emerge – childbirth, bereavement, divorce and major illness are all top responses. But there’s another time which consistently makes this list – home moving.

 

At first it might seem silly, even trivialising, to compare the difficulties of moving home with divorce or more “significant” events. But people don’t just carry their personalities and “self” within the mind – our home and possessions contribute strongly to our sense of identity. In a famous paper, an academic named RW Belk posited the idea of an “extended self” which includes our most prized possessions which shape our self image.

 

Whenever you move home, part of the extended self is literally torn down overnight as your possessions are thrown into boxes to be carted off. In the same way (psychologically speaking at least) that job loss or divorce can force someone to redefine their identity; so does moving house.

 

Of course, it isn’t just the identity element of moving that makes the process so difficult. The entire process is expensive, long and tortuous – and prone to last minute failures if a chain falls apart. So what can you do to mitigate the stress?

 

Firstly, carefully consider what you’ll need immediately once you’re moved in. A bed, clothing and basic supplies will be priority for the first night – so pack them to one side. Bear in mind it might take days to get your furniture reassembled in the proper locations. If you have concerns, it may even be worth investing in an easily transported Zip & Link mattress, which can be easily dismantled and moved.

It is worth paying a premium for a trustworthy removal firm – ask friends for recommendations or search Yelp if you’re stuck. Once you have narrowed your list down to a few different companies you should call them all and ask what they would charge given the details of your move. Asking for moving quotes is one of the best ways to ensure there are no surprises on moving day. Whoever you choose will be in complete control of your life’s possessions for up to several days – knowing they’re in safe hands will be a weight off your mind.

You’ll also be faced with the immediate challenge of switching your address details for each of the dozens of companies who need it. Your local Post Office should be able to redirect mail to your new address as a stopgap, but its essential to update your details ASAP. Banks, utility companies and phone suppliers will be among your first calls but the tax office, driving authorities and doctor will all need an up to date address.

Before you move its well worth gathering and shredding any documents with personal information to avoid the risk of identity fraud. Criminals have been known to search the trash of recently moved families for identifying documents, which can then be used to take out fraudulent loans in your name. To avoid this risk, ensure any personal documents that aren’t coming with you are shredded or even burned.
Moving home will always be a stressful experience but with planning and forethought you can avoid some of the worse possibilities. Last minute packing crises, lost possessions and identity fraud can turn a nightmare move into a genuine tragedy, so plan in advance and don’t fall into those traps!

 

 

 

Salon Science: AnaGain Review – For Thicker, Fuller, Denser Hair

Posted on by

Frost is reviewing something a bit different: In recent years there has been a huge leap forward in plant bio-active and stem cell technology which has provided access to superior formulations and ingredients which have not, until now, been available in haircare. Salon Science  is a brand new haircare collection of 18 products that uses plant stem cells and bio-active technology within the formulations.

Salon Science- AnaGain Review - For Thicker, Fuller, Denser Hair

Developed by the leading experts in plant stem cells and bio-actives, all of the products are underpinned by extensive in vitro and in vivo testing. The collection is comprised of four ranges, each devised to tackle a specific series of problems using a key active ingredient, derived from plant extracts.

Salon Science seamlessly combines cutting edge scientific expertise with plant bio-active and stem cell technology resulting in a luxury salon quality collection. Salon Science breathes life back into hair… reviving, revitalising and nourishing from root to tip.

There are many reasons why women lose their hair. Pregnancy, hormonal imbalance, nutritional deficiency, metabolism, genetics and stress. With that in mind we tried the AnaGain

This is what they say: “Packed with AnaGain, an organic pea sprout extract that is rich in restorative proteins, starch and fibres. These rebalancing phytonutrients combined with caffeine agents stimulate blood circulation to help encourage the growth of hair at the root. This advanced formulation helps strengthen, add volume, moisturise and protect, making hair more resistant to everyday damage. Continuous use of the Pro-accelerant regime helps give denser, thicker, fuller hair in 3 months.”

Do we think it works? Yes, hair looks noticeable better and thicker. Although this is all cosmetic it make you look and feel better. The shampoo is £15, the conditioner is £17 and the treatment is £39. Considering the price of other hair loss treatments- and the fact that many of them don’t actually work- this seems reasonable. We will continue to use this and give a further update in a few months.

Available from boots.com

Tips For Long Journeys With Children: Don’t Miss Out On Adventure

Posted on by

Taking a long journey with young children in tow is never easy.   Aside from the military-type organizational procedures that have to be followed before anyone can leave the house, the actual journey itself can be stressful and leave parents tearing their hair out!  The good news is that there are ways to relieve the stress and keep the journey fairly trouble-free.

keeping children entertained on car journeys

Occupying the kids

 

One of the main issues with any long journey, whether it be by car, train or plane, is that children do get bored.  Anyone with regular experience of long trips with kids will know that making arrangements to keep the children occupied is essential.  When traveling with kids, it is a good idea to allow them to take along a few games or books.  This will help to stave off boredom and is particularly useful when travelling by train or plane where there are usually small lap tables for them to use.  It is important to make sure that they do not get out all of their toys and games all at once.  They should be rationed throughout the journey so that the children do not get bored with everything in the first half hour.  They can pick the toys and games themselves before leaving home, but their choice should be vetted to make sure that they are practical for the trip.

 

Crayons and pads allow children to color or draw their own pictures.  Parents who offer prizes for the resulting creations will find that this helps to keep the children focused for a little longer but need to take care to keep this balanced – each child should win at some point in order to avoid any tantrums!

 

Get a little creative

 

Sometimes a standby like books or travel versions of games like Scrabble just will not keep the kids occupied for long enough.  This is where parents need to show a little creativity.  Children can be encouraged to engage with the journey by talking to their parents about what they can see as they travel – this is a good one for a car journey.  Looking out for landmarks can be turned into a game.

 

Parents can also read up on the places they are going to be visiting and spend some of the journey time talking to the children about them.  It is important not to make this sound like a history or geography lesson – it should be as fun as possible.  For example, a child with an interest in dinosaurs might want to hear about the natural history museum at the destination.  Travel journals are a good option for those who have older children.  Children can describe what they see and add things such as postcards and photos during the stay.  This can be useful when they return to school and are asked to talk about their vacation!

 

Any journey taken with children can be challenging but, with a little forward thinking, it can actually go smoothly.  Giving the kids activities that are relevant to the destination also helps them to feel a part of the trip and not as though they are just along for the ride.

 

http://www.roughguides.com/article/20-tips-for-travelling-with-children/

http://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/387689/jewish/TipsforEasierPlaneTravelingwithKids.htm

 

 

Calm: Secrets To Serenity From The Cultures Of The World

Posted on by

Calm: Secrets To Serenity From The Cultures Of The WorldIn the run up to Christmas we got sent a lot of books about being calm. Rather aptly when you think of the stress and craziness of Christmas. Calm: Secrets To Serenity From The Cultures Of The World is a different type of book, it takes inspiration from cultures around the world to add to your life. A smart and great idea. The book has fifty calming cultural secrets as well as the methods for applying them at home. Each one brings a new idea to bring to your life. Unlike other books on being calm, this one is actually calming to read. You just have to relax and learn, then implement what you learn into your life.

The book is easy-to-read and fun. Each cultural calming secret comes with the secret, the tradition, the date to try it and the country it originated from.

For example, Reap What You Sow has the secret: Be self-reliant, the Tradition: gardening for self-sufficiency, Date: Any time, Originated in: Chartreuse Monastery, France. It then goes into detail.

Calm: Secrets To Serenity From The Cultures Of The World is a very good book, a great buy that is a step up from most of the self-help books out there: one with real, helpful advice and great cultural secrets: self help whilst learning about travel and culture? Enlightening and entertaining. I loved it.

Calm: Secrets To Serenity From The Cultures Of The World can be bought here.

 

The 12 Pitfalls of Christmas And How To Avoid Them

Posted on by

vivienne_imgWhen a relationship is already struggling , Christmas can intensify that struggle. Instead of being a happy celebratory time, Christmas completely drains the joy. If you are already feeling a little under the strain and under supported, this article is for you.

The 12 pitfalls of Christmas and how to avoid them

 1 Too High An Expectation

We all have the wish for the perfect, romantic moment with the perfect gift when all our Christmas fantasies come true. There is an enormous sense of expectation on the big day and a lot of people aiming for perfection. This quest for perfection and the best Christmas ever can drain us and render both our Christmas and our partner’s efforts a disappointment. We all deserve to be happy and sometimes happiness is best reached when we stop the pressure. High expectations usually only lead to …..

2 Disappointment

The disappointment can be crushing because it feels so symbolic, as though if we are unhappy even at Christmas then we must be fundamentally miserable together. We can feel that “we” as a couple don’t want the same things in life just because “we” don’t want the same things at Christmas.

Perhaps we need to compromise our expectations, agree on how we will spend our time and efforts. “Good enough” can be very happy indeed. Decide to do something lovely for each other, so you both experience your special moment, so that potential disappointments can be curbed this Christmas.

 3 Negative Mindset

If we feel we’ve over-compromised or that we’re taken for granted before we start, then we enter into any conversation with a negative attitude which sets us up to have an argument or to fail in general.

If we look for the negatives and only notice events or things that are less than perfect this can lead to……

4 Over reaction

We all have the ability to massively over react. If we are tense to begin with, then the seemingly small stuff can push us over the edge from calm and composed to tantrum and distress. The number of people that argue over the practicalities of Christmas is probably close to 100%.

One particularly stressful practicality is packing the car. Let’s face it, this is basically an argument in a boot!  Mindset is key when it comes to the arduous errands around Christmas. If you find yourself thinking “what a nightmare all this stuff is” and “no way is it all going to fit into the car” …. Think about this before the day of travel and also turn that around to think “how great that we can give so many presents” and “This is going to be so much fun”.

After all, why spend all this time and energy and money buying the presents if you’re going to complain about packing them and the subsequent journey?

Some people have better spatial awareness than others …. be honest with yourself … how good are you at filling every crevice efficiently?  If the other person insists on doing it, let them get stuck before you wade in with your suggestions.

 5 Who’s rule is it anyway?

Christmas can seem as though it comes with an invisible but very real rule book. This rule book to be based on absolutes about the fundamental questions such as, ‘Who to spend Christmas Day with?’   Often families feel they must spend Christmas together.  Christmas Day seems to be symbolic of family and therefore if you don’t spend it with your family, you feel judged that you aren’t behaving in an accepted way. These emotionally laden rules lead to …..

6 Stress in various relationships

Many couples argue over whose parents’ turn it is to visit, and whose tradition to follow.  It may seem uncharitable and selfish to spend time with people whose company you actually enjoy.
Just because you’ve spent it with one set of people for the past 5 years, doesn’t mean you would be insulting anyone to have a change.  Handling that situation need not be as difficult as you may fear it is.

Family dynamics go into over drive. Various family members can battle over status and following certain traditions can equate to personal victories or be perceived as slights. Siblings can start to regress into squabbles befitting adolescence not middle age!

Everything can feel as though there is a hidden agenda and negative communication; even gift giving can be perceived as point scoring.  Christmas day can be reduced into a competitive battle ground with everyone trying to assert their status, for example, who’s in charge, who carves, whose pudding is better, who wouldn’t have bought the pudding but made it from scratch, whose present is more expensive, better thought out?  Competitiveness creeps in to cause many underlying feelings of guilt and undermining. Christmas is reduced to a series of unpleasant negotiations.

Focusing on how you and your partner really want to spend Christmas in a fashion that will make you truly happy is the key to sidestepping the unpleasantness. Thinking about happiness as the goal of the day and not point proving or following arduous tradition keeps you on the right track.

7  Quest for perfection

Women can often feel that how well they “do” Christmas is symbolic of how much they love and how good a wife and homemaker they are.  Women can end up putting so much pressure on themselves to get it all perfect that they set themselves up to fail, because they become stressed and grumpy therefore less fun to be around. This stress can lead to ….

8  Feeling Overwhelmed

FUN is the point of Christmas for most of us.  So, if the process of preparation drains the joy of the day, then your priorities are misconstrued however well intentioned.

Children and even partners only notice the stress – they don’t know the difference between good enough and perfection. So halve your “to do” list and go without some of the food and events but do what you are doing with a smile and you will enjoy it to and so will they!

9  Feeling Lonely  

Generally, husbands/male partners tend to care and plan somewhat less and the other partner feels “slighted”  or dismissed … that what they want to talk about is irrelevant … and this feeling of being ignored leads to ….

10  A sense of isolation

We can all feel lonely in a crowded room and never more so than at Christmas. This sense of isolation and being on your own with everything can cause stress. You can feel as though you need to take responsibility for Christmas and the emotional wellbeing of everyone and this becomes overwhelming.

Christmas and its scripts can put emotions and relationships into intense mode …. you’re supposed to feel joy and it can work to the contrary by making you feel more lonely, less connected, less valued, more miserable.

Communication is key to avoiding this pitfall. Talk to your partner about what you need to. However, you also need to talk to yourself. Strategize your efforts so that they will pay off and not completely frazzle you. If you don’t get the help you need, do less. Be fair on yourself too so that you don’t feel alone with it all this Christmas.

11  Working too hard

One partner feels taken for granted.  One partner isn’t pulling the same weight in effort as the other.  It feels symbolic that “if my partner doesn’t care as much about Xmas as I do, that means he/she doesn’t love me”. This sense of disproportion within the relationship can lead to….

12  Arguments and Disappointment

Overall, there are high expectations and the whole feeling of pressure to make this the “absolutely perfect family day” … and then add some alcohol to that and emotions quickly rise to the surface causing tension.

So logistic planning is helpful eg who’s going to contribute foodwise/drinkswise/presents …. all of this needs careful discussion beforehand.

Financially, parents tend to spend lots of money on their kids and then that sometimes leaves less for your partner’s present eg combining a Christmas present with a birthday present … it becomes a financial transaction rather than a giving or romantic one.  This is not a positive attitude to present-giving unless fully agreed with the receiver.

It is a very extended time together from eg 10 am – 9pm or even longer when visiting relatives far away which means an overnight stay is included.  So if it’s someone you don’t see regularly because you don’t want to, that too brings huge pressure of interaction to spend 36-48 hours with those people.

If you feel your relationship is coming to an end, then buying presents for the maybe “last Xmas” feels like a death looming.
How to step over these pitfalls

Whatever you decide, make that a positive decision.  Go into the situation with a positive mindset …. set it up to succeed.

Think about it – any time you meet a person who is complaining, down on themselves, or generally miserable, then your heart sinks and you don’t feel so good.

When you are greeted by someone who is smiling, open and interested, you feel their energy and the joy begins.
Prepare as best you can regarding travel logistics, presents without going into huge debt and agreeing who makes the gravy.  Have all the necessary conversations so that everyone’s expectations are met.

If there are still some issues, this is where you have to decide whether you are going to spend time with these people or not.  And if you decide that you are going to be with them, then this is when you decide how you are going to feel and behave.  If you go in with a smile on your face, you will feel happier and your experience will be happier.

We can all survive and even enjoy Christmas 2013!

Mindset is the key to a happy and fun Christmas Day.

Wishing you a happy Christmas Day.

From: Vivienne Goldstein (Relationship Coach) and
Dr Lucy Atcheson (Psychologist)

We hope this article is helpful. If you would like some bespoke therapeutic support for your relationship at one of our workshops supporting women to enhance their relationships please contact us at

Lucy@counsellingpsychologistlondon.com or Viv@viviennegoldstein.com