In a new Frost series Catherine Balavage will be covering everything you need to know about being a successful blogger and running a successful blog. Hot on the heels of releasing her book on blogging, Catherine will be doing a talk on blogging at Litfest, the esteemed literary festival founded by contributing editor Margaret Graham. All proceeds from Litfest go to Words For The Wounded so come along if you can. It is this Saturday (16th April 2016).
If you have any questions on blogging then please send them along to us at frostmagazine@gmail.com or tweet us at @Frostmag. Blogging is huge now and allows you to create a brand, earn a living or even work from home. Keep coming back to Frost for the knowledge to help you achieve your dreams.
You are new and shiny. Take advantage of this. Casting directors will give you an audition just because they have never seen you before. Not so much after you have been auditioning for years. Getting noticed when you are new can really give you a foothold into the industry as every agent, producer and casting director wants to discover the Next Big Thing. You have about six months until the next wave of graduates enter the ring. Sounds brutal and unfair? That’s because it is.
Get An Accurate Headshot.
I cannot stress this enough. Get a headshot that looks like you. I have been on the other side of the casting divide and have always been shocked when an actor comes in with a headshot that is either ten years old or airbrushed into oblivion. You are an actor, not a supermodel. The key to a good headshot is to look like yourself, only better. Have spots and dark circles removed, nothing else. Actors are hired to play real people, not robots (usually). Not looking like your headshot is also the quickest way to upset a casting director. They will look bad in front of the producer or director. Many productions also cast from pictures and, if like the women who was hired to play 1980s era Madonna on a production I was also cast in, you now look completely different than you do in your picture that casting director will never hire you again.
Write To Every Casting Director Who Ever Lived.
Slight exaggeration but you get my point. Start your research. Watch TV and film and write down who the casting director is. Do the same for theatre. Do not just throw mud at the wall however, don’t contact casting directors who only do kids TV shows if you are 30. The key is to contact casting directors who cast your type. Be concise and to the point and remember to include your headshot and contact details. This brings me to my next point…
Know Your Type.
I know, I know. You are an actor dahling. You can play any role. But the acting industry does not work like that. Casting directors have to put you somewhere and the brutal truth is that the acting industry is probably the only industry that can actually discriminate on how you look. And it will. Catherine Zeta Jones may be a lass from the Welsh valley but she is frequently cast as Italian or Spanish because, in a superficial stereotypical world, that is what they think she looks like. I get cast in period roles a lot because I am slim and pale. So work out your type. Ask friends and family. Make a list of who you are and who you are not and market yourself accordingly. It is not all bad however, getting typecast means getting work, and you can always branch out into other roles later.
Catherine Balavage has been an actor for over ten years. Her book on acting, How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur, has gotten numerous five star reviews and has been called the ‘best advice available’ by numerous sources.
I know what you are thinking: what? That makes no sense. But bear with me. I have been acting for a long time. Since I was a teenager and in that time I have had some amazing parts, met amazing people and worked on projects that I was proud of. Also in that time I worked with a lot of jerks, had some terrible auditions, worked on awful projects and had some really awful experiences. My hair was always in a state of recovery because some over-zealous make up person had gone to town on it, my breasts were always being taped down by gaffer tape because costume people ‘didn’t know what to do with them’ and I was working too damn hard in an industry where the pay had not only not risen, but was actually the lowest in fourteen years. I kept almost getting the life-changing parts but lost out at the final hurdle. To put it frankly, I had had enough.
The last straw was working on a film on which I sustained a serious back injury. I damaged a disc and also had nerve damage. Over a year of painful physiotherapy followed. It was a nightmare. It was the last straw. ‘I quit’ I told my husband. ‘I just can’t do this anymore’. But it was only then the moment of clarity came; ‘Don’t quit’, my husband said, ‘You are too talented and have too much to offer. Take a break and then go back to it’. Cue the previously mentioned moment of clarity. He was right. Quit, but then go back.
The truth was, I just wasn’t into it anymore. I hated auditions, I hated working, I hated all of the BS that came with acting. So I quit, wrote my acting book, and by the time I was ready to go back I was in love with acting again. I wanted to make films again. I wanted to be on a television set. The break gave me the distance needed to realise why I had become an actor in the first place. I rediscovered all of the things I loved about working in the entertainment industry, which is the only way you can deal with all of the stuff you don’t love about it.
When your heart isn’t in something it comes across. You just have to take a break and go do something else for a while. Get a good-paying job and build up your bank account, travel, learn a new skill. Do anything but quit acting. It just might be the best thing for your acting career that you ever do.
American Actors Can Get How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur For $1.99: One More Day Only
Fresh from a Kindle Countdown Deal for British actors which was very successful, now American actors can get my book for only $1.99 for a limited time only. How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur has been getting rave reviews in America and it has already been selling stateside.
I found this book to be an excellent companion to Bonnie Gillespie’s ‘Self-Management for Actors’, which I am also currently reading. The first half of Catherine’s book does a excellent job of distilling a seminar’s-worth of material into a manageable bit. The second half, the interviews, felt more conversational. What was clear, the recommendations made in the first half came, in part, from these interviews. This is an excellent technique, since it reinforces the validity of the recommendations as having come from entertainment professionals who have achieved a perceived level of success. (I like that the definition of “success” was open for discussion, since it can mean different things to different people.)
As an American reading this book, I did find some UK-centric resources and references. But, in this era of global Internet access, I found just as many that were valid for US readers. I was able to take this in stride and see this as a valuable tool in my self-management as a working actor.
Thanks, Catherine, for writing this excellent guide.”
How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur has been included in Amazon’s Kindle Countdown Deals and for one more day is only £1.99. How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur, written by Frost Magazine’s editor Catherine Balavage, has received a number of good reviews including three five-star reviews on Amazon UK and another brilliant four-star review on Amazon US, even though it has only been out for two months. The below review is from acclaimed author Margaret Graham:
A triumph for Balavage, and a necessary tool for anyone considering an acting career. By Margaret Graham
Balavage has written a well balanced exploration of how to succeed as an actor. I am an author, not an actor, but having read How to be a Successful Actor, I feel the two precessions are closely allied. Balavage clarifies the positives and negatives of the profession, and then proceeds to walk us through the ups and downs, giving anyone interested in becoming an actor the tools to maximise their chances.
The basic ingredients, it seems to me, are to utilise common sense and good manners. After all, you will be meeting the the same people on the way up, and then, when times are hard, to be nice out there..
But more than that, we are led by the hand through the nitty gritty of whether to train, or not to train, the virtues of hard work in the face of lack of progress, the need to be glad of any chance to gain experience, and exposure. She explains the need to acquire the necessary skills through classes, and the value of networking.
As I also advise my writing students, Balavage advises actors to watch and analyse their craft, on stage, radio and screen. She emphasises the need for actors to BE their characters, to acquire accents, to keep fit. She moves on to marketing, to the virtues of mobile phones and the internet for spreading the word about YOU,
There is humour: remember to avoid the stunt co-ordinator’s elbows, there are detailed tips: what to do if your mouth dries up (read the book and find out) , there are a forest of useful addresses.
No wonder it took Balavage 4 years to write this book, because she includes a plethora of interviews with experts in the field. What comes across is that Catherine Balavage considers an acting career to be a project, one that needs to have: a firm foundation, on-going development, marketing skills, research, realistic self-belief, and a hell of a lot of luck. This book needed to be written. It was Catherine Balavage with her clear sighted view of the profession who needed to write it. Bravo!
This one is from actor and casting associate Clea Myers:
Fantastic & Essential Guide By Ms. C. Myers
This really is an excellent guide book into the terribly difficult, but potentially rewarding life of an actor. Balavage tackles the often ignored questions that surround the inexperienced and/or young person who wonders what the best road to take is? She starts with the basics that encompass questions about whether to train at drama school (and thereby find the money to do so), or go another route by getting involved with fringe theatre and/or film school films. Throughout she weighs up the pros and cons in a highly informative and intelligent manner that are also highly credible as she is writing from first-hand experience. Her own entrepreneurship into film-making is included and offers fantastic tips and empowerment, to what is often a dis-empowering profession. She also demystifies the perceived ‘glamour’ of working as an actor and says it how it is. A good wake-up call for those out there that crave instant fame!
Her approach is wholly professional and fundamentally knowledgeable: she interviews working actors, alongside well-known casting directors who give an insider-view into what is required to get ‘ a foot in the door’. I would highly recommend this book to anyone interested in becoming an actor.
Crime writer Penny Deacon called it the ‘Best advice available’ in her review and American actor Tom Shafer gave it a wonderful review and said it was a great companion piece to Bonnie Gillespie’s acting bible, Self Management For Actors in his review below.
An excellent guide for the entertainment professional By Thomas Shafer
I found this book to be an excellent companion to Bonnie Gillespie’s ‘Self-Management for Actors’, which I am also currently reading. The first half of Catherine’s book does a excellent job of distilling a seminar’s-worth of material into a manageable bit. The second half, the interviews, felt more conversational. What was clear, the recommendations made in the first half came, in part, from these interviews. This is an excellent technique, since it reinforces the validity of the recommendations as having come from entertainment professionals who have achieved a perceived level of success. (I like that the definition of “success” was open for discussion, since it can mean different things to different people.)
As an American reading this book, I did find some UK-centric resources and references. But, in this era of global Internet access, I found just as many that were valid for US readers. I was able to take this in stride and see this as a valuable tool in my self-management as a working actor.
Thanks, Catherine, for writing this excellent guide.
What are you waiting for? We are not biased, it is an excellent guide and an essential for any actor.
Getting work as an actor is hard. With long periods of unemployment and vast competition. This was the main reason I wrote my book How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming An Actorpreneur. The odds are not good but you can tip them in your favour. You can make your own work, work on your skills, get your name out there. They say success is opportunity meets preparation. So here are my top five tips to make sure you are prepared and stop making the mistakes that stop you having the best career you can. Here are five mistakes actors make in their career that stop them being successful.
Arrogance
Far too many actors are arrogant. Especially just after they have left drama school. Thinking you are the best actor that ever walked the earth is not going to convince anyone else to hire you. No one likes arrogance. Always under-promise and over-deliver. Be humble and modest. The traits that make a good human being also make a good actor.
Marketing Yourself Wrong
Yes, you are an artist but you are also a product. You have to brand yourself correctly so people know what you are ‘selling’. If you are Irish and want to market yourself as an Irish actor you must be prepared for only getting Irish roles. People will try to put you into a box but you can do yourself a favour by making yourself versatile. If you don’t want to be known as a certain type of actor, (like Australian, Irish, etc) don’t market yourself that way. Play up to your strengths and downplay what will limit you getting mainstream work.
You must also update your head shots, CV and showreel at least yearly. Don’t forget to update the various online acting sites you may be on every time you get a job.
Not Continuously Working On Your Skills
Actors can go months, and even years without working. If you do not work on your skills when unemployed not only will you be rusty when it comes to audition and getting work, but you will also not be as confident. Your CV will also be lacking. You are a business, invest in yourself. Even if it is getting a camera and making some short films with friends.
Thinking The World Owes You a Living
You are not special. You do not deserve to be a super-successful world famous actor. The world does not owe you anything. A sense of entitlement is not going to do you any favours. This was the main piece of advice American casting director Daryl Eisenberg gave me for my book on becoming a successful actor. Don’t think you are better than anyone else.
Being a Jerk
No one wants to work with horrible people. The film industry is tiny, as is the theatre and TV industry. If you are rude, horrible and difficult to work with then you will have a pretty short career. Be nice. Manners cost nothing.
Catherine Balavage is an actor and writer with over ten years of experience in the industry. Her book, How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur, came out in June this year. She also co-directed and wrote her own feature-length film, Prose & Cons, which will be out later this year.
The rumour that acting is the hardest and most brutal industry in the world is unfortunately true, I have been an actor now for over 10 years. Yikes. Along the way I have realised that the only way to have a brilliant career is to write and produce your own stuff. Which is what I did with Prose & Cons. It is currently being edited.
If you want to be inspired, here is our list of the Top Actors Who Make Their Own Work.
Brit Marling
This American producer, director, writer and actress caused a stir with Another Earth. She was only 27 at the time. Now 30 and with 13 films under her belt. She was even on the front cover of Vanity Fair’s prestigious Hollywood edition. She has written four films and directed one.
Check out these personal quotes from her IMDB page:
“I always started writing in order to act. I don’t know that I could have the discipline to sit down and write if I was going to give it away. That would be too hard. But I love to act in stories that are outside my imagination because I can only conceive of so many things from my point of view. The thing that’s intoxicating about being an actor is that you get to live in someone else’s world for a while and I hope to do more of that. But I think I’ll never stop writing now because I’m wondering why there aren’t more representatives of women that are like the women we know. Where’s the film with the women who are complicated and strong and beautiful and sexy and interesting and of all body types? You don’t get to see enough of them. So there’s something important in attempting to write them for myself and for the insanely talented women out there.”
“[on why she decided to become a screenwriter in relation to her being an actress] How terrifying to surrender your life to being chosen all the time. Having to be chosen and re-chosen. Writing so that I can act became a way of having not more control over my future but not having to wait for permission. You can choose yourself. Hmm, who should play this part? I nominate me!”
Mindy Kaling
Started out as a writer for The Office and even wrote a character for herself into the show. At the age of 34 Kaling has created her own show, The Mindy Project, and was named as one of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in the World in 2013.
Mindy knows she is different and makes fun of it: “I’m a minority chubby woman who has my own show on a network. I don’t know how long this is going to last!” She told Jon Stewart. She has 2.3million Twitter followers and refuses to diet.
Kaling wrote in her bestselling memoir Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me?: “I fall into that nebulous, quote-unquote, normal American woman size that legions of fashion stylists detest. For the record, I’m a size 8 — this week, anyway. Many stylists hate that size because I think to them, it shows that I lack the discipline to be an ascetic; or the confident, sassy abandon to be a total fatty hedonist.”
Emma Thompson
She wanted better roles so she wrote the screenplay for Sense and Sensibility, an adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel. The film got Thompson the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay and a nomination for leading actress. She hasn’t looked back since. The 54-year-old has 60 films as an actor under her belt and another 12 as a writer.
Nia Vardalos
She kept losing out on roles so she wrote My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The film was a roaring success. Vardalos says: ‘I run into other actresses and we talk about the lack of parts for woman. At least I can write myself a part, which is an amazing skill to possess.”
Barbra Streisand
Streisand was the first woman to win a Golden Globe for directing after co-writing, directing and starring in Yentl. She was 41 and had already broken down a lot of barriers for woman. She started off as a nightclub singer and is now one of the most famous actress, singer, producer, director, actor and writers. Has never been afraid to send herself up. She has inspired generations of woman.
In her own words: “I arrived in Hollywood without having my nose fixed, my teeth capped, or my name changed. That is very gratifying to me.”
“To have ego means to believe in your own strength. And to also be open to other people’s views. It is to be open, not closed. So, yes, my ego is big, but it’s also very small in some areas. My ego is responsible for my doing what I do – bad or good.”
Lake Bell
The 34-year-old is making waves with her film, In A World. She has 35 credits to her name but made her own film this year. After being an actor for 11 years she sat down to write a script and won the prestigious Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award at the Sundance Film Festival. She told Glamour Magazine: “When I first started auditioning in LA, I realised it was a clique; this guy’s got the monopoly on epics, this woman’s got the monopoly on tampon adverts. It was the perfect environment for a modern comedy.” “I wanted to make a movie’, she went on, “so I wrote a part for myself.”
“Being willing to outsource all of your creative decisions, especially to a first-timer like me, is very ballsy. I had no other choice than to make it the way I made it. And I felt very supported in that. When you write and direct your own film you basically know exactly what you want. Or you hope to. For the studio, it actually can make life a little easier, because if you have a bunch of questions they only need to call one person.”
Kristen Wiig
While Kristen had been in many films and was a regular on Saturday Night Live, she never really broke out until Bridesmaids. Kristen co-wrote and starred in Bridesmaids which was one of the biggest hits of 2011, taking $300 million at the box office and was credited for turning the tide for women in film. She has an amazing 60 credits to her name and we get the feeling the that she is just getting started.
In her own words: “If you’re creating anything at all, it’s really dangerous to care about what people think”. She also states that woman are asked their age more than men.
Ben Affleck and Matt Damon
They wrote Good Will Hunting and won an Oscar. They rest is movie star history.
Vin Diesel.
He couldn’t get the roles he wanted so he wrote a short film called Multi-Facials about being bi-racial. Steven Spielberg saw it and cast him in Saving Private Ryan. He is now a movie star and has a few franchises under his belt.
Lena Dunham
She made her first film in her parents New York apartment with a Canon 7D. Tiny Furniture was critically acclaimed and lead to the huge hit and cultural game-shifter, Girls. Still only 27-years-old but was 23 when she wrote, directed and starred in Tiny Furniture.
In her own words: “I was constantly preparing for auditions in a way that was crazy… and then I’d literally get cast as, like, a bouncing ball or a fat man or a security guard.”
Tina Fey
Made her name in Saturday Night Live and also is the creator, producer, star and writer of 30 Rock. She wrote a book called Bossy Pants and had two children. She returned to work not long after giving birth saying, “NBC has me under contract; the baby and I only have a verbal agreement’. Is their no end to her talents?
Greta Gerwig
Became known thanks to her association with the mumblecore film movement. The 30-year-old is the indie IT queen of the moment. Was brilliant in Lola Versus and stars in film-of-the-moment, Frances Ha, which she co-wrote with director boyfriend Noah Baumbach. Plays strong female characters.
I met Vanessa in the City. She is fashionable, warm, friendly and passionate. I came to interview her about her amazing site for women in the City: wearethecity.com. A place where women can find help and advice with their work, life and careers.
Vanessa Vallely: “There are three core values that I had in mind when I set it up that hold true. One, that we provide a platform for female entrepreneurs to get their products to market on the basis that it fits into our members’ demographic. We do that by taking away hefty advertising fees for them and to give female entrepreneurs a bit of a leg up. We are also a conduit to charities to get to high net worth women. We will actively promote any network or any organisation that is free that will develop skills for women. So probably 40% of what we do on the website falls into that value set, that is really important to me.”
Frost: First of all, what are you wearing? You look great.
VV: “I am wearing a Britt Lintner dress with my normal Gucci shoes and scarf. She is a fantastic designer. She set herself up a couple of years ago doing dresses and managed to get her collection into Harrods, although she’s taking some time out because she’s raising some small children.”
When did you know you wanted to go into business?
“I left school at 16 with just a couple of GSCEs and headed out into the city with 15 pence and a bag of ambition because I wanted to change my lifestyle and my mum’s as well. We come from a very socially and economically-challenged background, so I knew that I wanted to be successful, I knew that the financial district was two miles away from where I lived and that was where I was going to start.
“I actually realised I wanted to develop the website three years ago due to my frustration with not having a site that covered everything in my life. There needs to be a bit of lifestyle in there because let’s not hide it, I am a woman. I need to eat, I need to have my hair done, I need to find a dentist. But I also wanted to upskill myself outside of my corporate environment, so how was I going to that?
“Women’s networks, courses I could go on – for me it’s frustrating. If I Googled that information, I would spend hours on the internet. I wanted to find it all on one site so my husband said, ‘Why don’t you create a website for women?’ and we built it together.
“So that’s when I knew that I wanted to work for myself. I love my corporate job and run the website outside of work.
“My aspirations in 10 years time are to be the CEO of a charity, because I do a lot for charity still.”
Tell me about being a Pearly Queen?
“It has been in my family for 100 years. The Pearly Kings and Queens were started by an Orphan called Henry Croft and he used to sew buttons on his suit, he was a rat-catcher in the markets.
“If you think about London 100-odd years ago it was still markets, no superstores or anything. So he used to hang around the markets with the costermongers who were the apple sellers. They used to sew buttons on their suits and were called flash boys.
“If the costermongers were down on their luck, their entire family was affected if someone was ill. There was no social security then, so he used to raise money in the markets for his fellow orphans. Eventually he was so much in demand, he couldn’t be at all the markets, so he made head Pearly Kings and Queens of each of the 20 boroughs of the London of the time and they’d raise money for individuals in that borough. My granddad was pearly King of East London and he passed that title to my father and my father passed it to me.
“I have been a Pearly Queen since I was three years old. I was Pearly Queen of Hoxton until this year when I gave that title to my 11-year-old daughter and I have taken the City of London from my dad. So we still go out and put our buttons on for various charities. I don’t quite sing and dance the way I used to, but it is a lovely part of London heritage and we are as famous as the Chelsea Pensioners, so why not do it? The fact that I have a profile in the City helps because it could die out with people getting old.”
I read that you could see the city from….
“I could, from my tower block window. I lived on the 18th floor and could see NatWest tower. I used to say to my mum, ‘I am going to work there one day and I am going to change how we live’. My first job was in that building.
I drive past there now and I look up at that tower block and I think, That’s where it all began’. We were broke half the time. There were lots of people with challenges and me and my mum were one of them, but bit-by-bit we made it out through sheer hard work. Most of my childhood was spent going to school and then cleaning betting shops until 11 pm. I don’t know if my mum still has it, but I think there’s a picture where I am holding a mop that is bigger than I am. I still love to clean – mopping and stuff like that.”
Was it hard getting to where you are now? Any reinforced ceilings?
“Yes, in the City I was different in a time when diversity wasn’t really appreciated. I didn’t speak the right way, I didn’t look right, and had a bit of an attitude. I was quite precocious and quite a forceful individual because I wanted to get ahead. I never had a college network to back me up, I never knew anyone, so I had to fight my corner a little bit harder.
“There were individuals who I worked for along the way who told me I can’t do what I have done. They said I’ll never succeed or I’ll never cut it or I’ll never get that job. I love people like that because they fuel my fire and I love to say to them, ‘Well, actually, you were wrong’.”
It’s all connections isn’t it?
“Absolutely. And I spent the past six years building those connections, not just for me, but for other people. I find people jobs, I mentor, I connect businesses, source providers. I spend probably 30% of my week connecting people to others. That’s why my strapline is ‘Make The Magic Happen’. They can go off and do stuff together. They call me a ‘contentpreneur’. I enjoy doing that and enjoy hearing about what other people have done as a result, because I feel like I was part of it.”
I heard that you were the most connected women in London….
“I do know a lot of people. I do agree that there are only three degrees of separation. I can get to most people if I need to. But I don’t call on favours often. I only call on them when I need them. I am more likely to be found giving favours or doing stuff for other people. That’s my model and I enjoy doing it.”
What do you think made you successful?
“Passion and drive. But also I open most conversations with, ‘what can I do for that person?’ and I think what you end up with is thanks. You are good to other people and they want to help you back. Also volunteering for things other people didn’t want to do. People would say, ‘oh, I don’t want to do that’ if there was a project that was really messy. I was the first one with my hands up, because I think you learn so much as a consequence of being in a mess, fixing it, and getting yourself out of that mess.
“I have always volunteered for projects that other people don’t want and for things I don’t necessarily have the expertise for. There are things I have worked on when I’d have to come home and study. I would read books and call on my network, saying, ‘Can you help me understand this stuff?’. I am not a hugely academic person, but I get things done and I have people skills. I get along so well with people. I think if you approach it a certain way, then people will help you.”
What do you think about the global economy?
“I think we’re in a tight space. I think we have been in a tight space since 2008. You look at what happened with the banks out there, Northern Rock and stuff, it has had a knock-on effect. It’s wider now, it’s countrywide, Portugal, Greece, Ireland.
“I think it’s a tough place to be. I think it’s a tough time for businesses, but I also think tough times are the best place to grow sometimes. You are starting from a very low point. I think there are people who will thrive as a consequence, but we have to watch what we are doing. It’s difficult. It’s difficult for public services, schools, I mean I do a lot of work within charities who have had their funding cut. I think the whole world is feeling the pinch. It’s a scary place to be.”
What was the original idea behind Wearethecity.com?
“It was my frustration that there wasn’t really a website for women. There wasn’t something that showed me a one-stop shop where I could make a change. There are now 20-30 charities that we promote and we have over 200 writers.
“These are girls that have never written for publications before and are amazingly talented. Some of them want to share their experiences and they are writing about a myriad of things, those problems that women face in their careers, life, childcare, elderly care, career aspirations, setting up a business. We are giving them the opportunity.
Wearethecity has grown from being a website that was built on an £8 a month web builder tool that anyone can get off the internet to a website that gets a million and a half hits every single month.
“Let it be noted that I have not done it on my own. There wouldn’t be a me without my husband. He built the website, he is the technical person, he has a full-time job, he believes in the power of women, he believes in me and it is a very supportive partnership. That enables me to do what I do. It is shared responsibility. Yes, when the kids are away we have an argument about whose week was more important, but he is a massive support, I couldn’t do it without him.”
How do you juggle kids with a career?
“Again, it’s a tough one. The kids come first. They have to come first. You have to spend quality time with them and it is quality time. I get up at 5:30 in the morning, generally I am pulling letters out of school bags, I write a few cheques, and I get prepared. I have a childminder that comes at 6:30, I literally hand over as I am walking out of the door. I get into work at 8:45 and I do my full day job. I see people, I do work on wearethecity on lunch breaks or after work, so I don’t mix the two.
When I am here in work, I am here in work. I do my emails on the train. I get home at 7. I see the children, the childminder goes. We tend to do a lot of quality stuff. We go to the theatre and we travel a lot because we live in quite a middle class white area and I grew up in the culturally mixing pot that is Hackney. I don’t want my kids growing up thinking the world is flat or white. I want them to have an appreciation of different religions and cultures. We cook a meal from the culture that we are visiting and then we travel there.
“My kids have a huge world map, probably three feet by two feet, that I bought them a few years ago. Every year, we choose two countries and then we go through a process. They do a little project, we talk about it, we cook a meal and we go. My kids can navigate Heathrow airport, Gatwick, Stansted like you would not believe. It has helped them to grow up. I want them to be the kind of individual who would see a person properly, for what they are, not what they look like or what their beliefs are. That is very important to me.”
Do you think the City is a good environment for women?
If you think of where we came from in the last 40 years, from being able to vote and stuff like that, I still think it is sad that we have to celebrate en masse when a women gets a board position. I would rather that was the norm.
“I also think women in my position should be role models and mentor these women because we need to build the next generation – that next pool of talent – or we’ll never get women who are ambitious enough to get onto boards.
It’s a good spot for women. The young girls that I talk to are coming out with different dreams and aspirations, with a ‘why can’t I?’ attitude, which I like because I think women should continue to push boundaries and I fully support that.”
What advice would you give to other women in business?
“Don’t take no for an answer. Try to remove the emotion. With some things that happen, it’s very easy to get a bit deflated. They just have to dust themselves off, get up and keep trying.
“Networking is one of the most important tools. Meet people, even if you can’t see an immediate need for your business. You never know when that person’s name is going to come up, so spend a lot of time networking with the right peer group. Keep those relationships warm, don’t be transactional, keep in touch even if it’s not a close contact. If it’s a peripheral contact, keep in touch every six months. Drop them an email saying. ‘I thought of you’, that sort of thing. That is massively important.
“Don’t give up. If you have a dream in your head, think about, ‘How do I get there?’. You may be back at the start and your dream is two miles ahead, so how do we get to mile one? Who do we need to help us to get there? What do I need to learn?
“Visualise that short-term goal, but keep the long-term one in mind as well. You just have to keep pushing on. It’s not always easy. I’m not perfect. I had times when I put my head in my hands and thought, ‘Why am I doing this?’ Or when I want to give up, that network around me are the ones that give me the push. You need to push on. That is what I give to my network now.”
I know what you mean, I have times when I think, ‘I can’t do this’.
“But then one of your friends will be strong and they will say, ‘Yes you can’. Then they might have a moment. I think it’s a fantastic time for women, and again, if you hang out with the right set of women who support women, it’s a fantastic place to be.”
It was Madeleine Albright who said there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women [Vanessa finishes the quote with me]
Absolutely. And she’s spot on. She said a lot of profound things. She is one of my women that I aspire to. She’s amazing.”
It is an annoying myth that women don’t help other women.
“I can honestly say 99% of women I associate with are absolutely supportive. If we don’t make a difference, if we don’t support other women, if we don’t tell young girls that they can do it, and influence and navigate….
“I don’t think a woman should ever change her make up. I look back at the pictures of me early in my career and I look like a guy, I have a pinstripe suit on. The only thing that says I am feminine is my hair and a bit of make up, because that’s how I thought I needed to be. In order to succeed, I needed to be one of them. I needed to be a ball breaker, I needed to be, ‘I don’t care. I’ll sack that one and I don’t care’.
But you know what? I am absolutely proud to be a woman. Unfortunately, women get labelled very easily, so if you are outspoken about something, you are having an emotional breakdown. If you react to something in a certain way: you’re sensitive, so it is very easy to slap a label on women, and I am like, ‘Why can’t my outburst be described the same as yours? I have a label and you are just being seen as being passionate. There is no difference.”
It’s like that quote: a women who has an opinion is a bitch, but a man with an opinion is strong.
“Exactly. A man and women can say the same statement and people will go ‘Ooh!!’ to the woman and with a man they just say, ‘Alright’. They see things how they are and won’t bat an eyelid. It is easy for women to be labeled and it’s a shame, it shouldn’t be that way.”
In a new Frost series Catherine Balavage will be covering everything you need to know about being a successful blogger and running a successful blog. Hot on the heels of releasing her book on blogging, Catherine will be doing a talk on blogging at Litfest, the esteemed literary festival founded by contributing editor Margaret Graham. All proceeds from Litfest go to Words For The Wounded so come along if you can. It is this Saturday (16th April 2016).
