Write Your Own Dating Rules by Jenni Trent-Hughes, the relationship expert

relationshipsJenni Trent-Hughes, the relationship expert from eHarmony tells Frost Magazine readers to rip up the rule book.

Eighteen years ago the dating world was introduced to a book called ‘The Rules’ that we were meant to follow in order to guarantee a perfect love life. In those days, before online dating there were rules like: Don’t ask a man on a date! Don’t ask him to dance first! Don’t call him first! Don’t accept a date for Saturday if he asks you after Wednesday!

If you’ve found that ‘’not accepting a date for Saturday if they asked you after Wednesday’ worked for you, then I’m not going to tell you any different.  However as you’re here reading this in 2013, I suspect that you have realised that there is no magic secret; but I’m glad to say there is one tip that will help to bring you success or at the very least, remove some of the obstacles you may have stumbled over in the past.

Rules are like walls and sometimes walls need to be demolished to let the light in. Step outside your comfort zone and see what happens – be the dater you want to be not the one you’ve been told to be.

My one tip is this: Write your own rules! No one knows you better than you know yourself. You know what you’re capable of. You know what your parameters are. What you will be brave enough to do and what is going to be totally against your character, and you know what feels right.

I’m not going to tell you what not to do! You can figure that out yourself. I’ll just remind you of some things to do to help increase your chances of success when dating online.

1.    Reach out: If you see a profile that you like the look or sound of then make contact. There is no point spending weeks peeking at each other through cyberspace – say hello.

2.    Step outside your regular boundaries: Online dating is a golden opportunity to interact with people you might not originally have considered. Remember the first time against your better judgement you chose coconut ice cream and now it’s your favourite? That person who is a little older, a bit younger, that you’re attracted to but doesn’t match up to your usual ‘type’. That might just be The One.

3.    If you want to ask them out – just do it: Man or woman, we are in the 21st Century and we can do things that are new without the roof caving in. Traditionally men might have been the first to initiate a date, however things have evolved and it’s flattering to be asked out whatever your sex.

4. Be honest: Be yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Forget mind games, just be yourself and eventually you will find someone who is exactly the person you are looking for and you to them.

5. Learn to let go: We all have baggage, but when it comes to dating try and leave any hang ups at the door. Negative experiences in the past can affect the way you approach a new relationship, and although it’s good to be cautious, it’s also good to go in with a fresh new slate. Have fun and let your true self be at the forefront.

Top Tips For Choosing The Ring For The One

With only 10 full days until the end of 2012, it’s time to get thinking about those all-important New Years Resolutions – What are you going to vow to stick to? Have you got something in mind you want to do that’ll make 2013 unforgettable?

For many couples that have been together for a relatively long time, the turning of a new year can often signify the pondering of the big question; “Will he or won’t he this year?” Yes, that’s right; I’m talking about the big decision of proposing.

Choosing the right time for get down on one knee can be a difficult decision as it is, but choosing the right ring can take on a new meaning of ‘difficult’ altogether; after all you know that you need to buy an engagement ring, but with so many colors, stones and styles available, you feel completely lost in the engagement-ring-jungle.

So, for those of you out there who are thinking that 2013 is going to be the year the for proposing to The One, in order to help you on your quest, here are my top tips for not only choosing the right ring, but for choosing a truly amazing one:

1. Listen To Everything Your Loved One Says

If you’ve got no clue what kind of ring your loved one would love, then a good tip is to listen to everything that the say – because chances are, they will mention things that they like – and if you’re listening hard enough, then they may even mention something to with rings specifically!

Things such as what colour ring they’d like, to even what stone they’d like may be mentioned on the off-chance, so rather than just nodding “yeah, yup, uh-huh” whilst pretending your listening like you usually do, it’ll definitely pay off to listen for once…

2. Ask Family and Friends

The family and friends of your loved one should be one of your first points of call, when it comes to deciding what ring to choose – after all, their mum, dad or siblings are bound to know exactly what they kind of ring they want!

If you also all chip in and put your heads together, chances are, you’ll all contribute to the choosing of a truly amazing ring. So, when you’re about to embark on stepping into the jewelers to take the plunge of buying a ring, make sure you take one of them with you – not only will they help you choose one, but at least you won’t have to take the sole blame if your choice isn’t to their liking!

3. Look At Their Other Rings For Sizes

Now I know what you’re thinking: “You have sizes for rings? Surely, they just come in small, medium and large, right?” Well, unfortunately for you they don’t – engagement rings or eternity rings sizes are normally determined by a range of letters.

So, if you have no clue what size your loved one is, then a good tip is to take one of their most worn rings and take it with you into the shop when you’re choosing one – the jewelers may then be able to determine what size ring they may need. However, it’s important to note what ring they normally wear that chosen ring on – after all, your ring finger is a completely different size to the middle or forefinger!