Sports team’s nicknames are very funny, very rarely cool and totally unnecessary. I am a huge rugby fan but supporting my local team has become, since the change of system from domestic to regional rugby, very very difficult. I love our jerseys. I love our stadium. I love our branding. I hate our name.

The Ospreys.

What a shitty name. As far as seabirds go, they’re a bit dull. Quite pretty and live nowhere near Wales. And we named our team after them. Yawn. It doesn’t even have any historical reason. It’s just shite.

But we got off lightly. Stateside, where there is more of a tradition of calling your beloved team something shit, there are a 5 of the best names that just made me piss. With laughter. Not literally. Ugh. Here they are:

1. Abilene Christian Wildcats – The notion of a wildcat worshipping Jesus and co really made me chuckle. Plus the good people who support this College football team have to endure this illogical beast as the emblem of their team. That also made me laugh a bit.

1. San Francisco 49ers – This famous American football team’s name has a very curious derivation. Named for the thousands of prospectors who, in 1849, rushed for the gold supposedly lying about in the sandy ground of California. So, you could say, the San Francisco “Went 400 miles westwards to find nothing but dust, caught cholera and got my foot blown off by dynamite”ers.

1. Brooklyn Bridegrooms (19^th century baseball team)/Columbia College Fighting Koalas – Joint winners of Ceri’s Least threatening team name.

1. Chicago Fire – Seems Ok? Pretty cool? Nope, because in 1871 there was a Chicago fire. The GREAT Chicago fire. Killed thousands. So way to go, Chicago Fire FC of the MLS. Let’s see if we ever see a London Blitz or Chernobyl Nuclear Disasters?

1. Edmonton Oilers – This Canadian hockey team can only really keep this name for a few years. Soon they’ll be the Edmonton “Remember when there was oil?”-ers.