Interview With The Commuter Author Emma Curtis

I finished reading The Commuter in a day. I raced through it. It’s a brilliant domestic thriller which had me hooked from the very first page. Here’s my interview with Emma.

The Commuter is your seventh novel. How does that feel? It’s a huge achievement.

It feels like a huge achievement! I started writing, submitting and getting rejections when I was in my late twenties, found an agent in my late forties and published my debut when I was fifty, so I definitely put the work in. I still sometimes pinch myself. 

Does the writing get easier?

I think the writing does, the editing doesn’t. It’s a long hard slog full of dead ends, frustrations and moments when I want to run away from it all. But when it’s finally signed off the satisfaction is huge. Writing the first draft is such a pleasure. If only the first draft was the last!

Where did the idea for come from?

I’ve lived in London and used the tube all my life and I’ve always enjoyed the free newspapers. The Rush Hour Crush feature in the Metro is so intriguing. When I was a teenager I used to look for Mr Darcys, now I scan faces and wonder what I’d write if I fancied someone. No one so far! It seemed like there could be a thriller in there somewhere.

What is your writing routine?

I get up early, ideally around 6am, have breakfast and start work. Then I work fairly solidly until twelve, have lunch and go for a long walk to mull over what I’ve done and set up the next chapter for the next morning. I like routine and deadlines and I’m not very flexible. But it gets things done.

Do you have a favourite novel that you have written?

Yes, my favourite is Keep Her Quiet which came out in 2020. One of the protagonists is an arrogant male author. I loved writing him!

What books have you read recently that you loved?

The Paper Palace by Miranda Cowley-Heller. I recommend it to anyone who asks me what to read next.

Do you have any favourite authors?

Loads! JP Delaney for quirky concept thrillers. Stephen King for lessons in story-telling. Celeste Ng is fantastic for family based noir. Robert Galbraith because I adore Cormoran Strike and need to know what happens between him and Robin. I like American literature too. AM Homes is a favourite. I wish Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would publish another novel!

How did you get published?

Since it took me such a long time, that is a very good question. I had given up for a few years, then my oldest child went off to University and I felt like I had to have another go. I wrote two novels, both rejected, then started writing short stories and entering them in online competitions. These did well. I had about a 25% hit rate of first, second and third prizes and those gave me credibility in the eyes of agents. I needed that because I had zero connection to the publishing industry. I turned one of the prize winning stories into a novel and this time, instead of sending it out to a handful of agents, getting rejections and losing heart, I sent it to thirty within three weeks so that I wouldn’t give up at the first No Thanks. That worked. I had twenty-six rejections, four requests for the full manuscript and an offer. One of the best days of my life. My agent at the time, Victoria Hobbs at AM Heath, secured a deal with Transworld.

What advice would you give other writers?

Mark out your time, even if it’s only half an hour a day. Stick to a routine and write even if you don’t feel like it. 

Learn to properly critique and edit your own work before you give it to anyone else – I did a course on this and it was invaluable (Jericho Writers). 

Don’t give your MS to friends and family to read and comment on. It puts them in a difficult position. Instead, if you’re serious start saving up for a professional critique from a reputable company like Cornerstones, Jericho Writers or The Novelry. But don’t send them anything until you’ve gone the extra mile. (see learn to critique and edit your own work!)

Also, interrogate your ego. It could be getting between you and representation. There’s the ego that will organise a professional edit but not take the advice because it doesn’t agree. There’s the ego that has that one precious pearl of a book and can’t move on from it despite repeated rejections. There’s the ego which will only write ‘what I want to write’, and won’t look for the space where what it wants to write dovetails with what people want to read. 

What’s next for you?

Next is a thriller about the devastating aftermath of a lie told by an angry and embarrassed teenage girl. That’s coming out in October 2025 and I’ve just sent a draft to my agent to take a look at before it goes to my editor. I have everything crossed! I heard today that she’s read a third of it and loves it. Hopefully the next two-thirds won’t change her mind.

The Commuter is out on October 10th.

SUNDAY SCENE: LINDA HUBER ON HER FAVOURITE SCENE FROM THE UN-FAMILY

I write psychological suspense, which isn’t well known for being a ‘cheerful’ genre. Although my books have their fair share of tension, I feel it’s important to include some warmer, happy moments too, whether it’s a touch of humour about something a child says, or an incident to do with a character’s relationship, or – as in my new release The Un-Family – their job. I think this helps to make the characters more real. Psychological suspense is basically about bad things happening to people, and readers are much more likely to sympathise with a character and cheer them on if they come across as realistic, rounded people, in spite of the tense plot and darker moments in the books.

In The Un-Family, Holly is a vet, having huge problems with her husband Dylan’s behaviour as well as smaller (she thinks) ones with his family. One day, however, she goes to look round a wildlife centre where she’ll be taking on some work from then on. Adam, the centre head, shows her round:

 

Holly looked in on a deer with a torn shoulder, a swan with an infected wound on one foot, and a hedgehog, who’d been stuck down a drain and needed fattening up. They walked on round the enclosures, which included two ponds, a home-made badger sett and a row of pens. Holly heaved a happy sigh – this would be such a great place to work.

A gaggle of teenagers on bikes was approaching as they arrived back at the main building, and Adam gave them a wave. ‘The after-school brigade.’

Holly watched as the teenagers dispersed around the buildings. ‘My niece Megan would love this. I’ll suggest she does a stint in the summer holidays.’

‘We always need volunteers. Okay, let’s go back in and sort out when you’ll be here next week. Then I’m heading down to the river to release a duck, now the water level has fallen again. Want to tag along? We’ll release you into the weekend when we’re done.’ He gave her his lop-sided grin.

Good, she’d be home well before Dylan arrived. With him away on his course, tonight would be their only opportunity to spend time with each other all weekend. Holly arranged her first shift for the following Monday and joined Adam in the centre’s green van, the duck in a pet carrier in the back.

He drove the short distance to the river, which was still full, but much less violent now. They walked along the bank to the place the duck had been rescued, and Adam stood back with Fred on his lead while Holly crouched down and opened the pet carrier. What a special moment this was, the first time she’d released a wild creature back into its natural environment.

She waited, motionless, then a yellow beak emerged from the carrier, followed by a beady eye, and three seconds’ flurry later, the mallard was swimming down the river, quacking loudly. Warm satisfaction spread through Holly. This was perfect.

 

Holly’s job turns into her main consolation as the plot develops, and as you can imagine, the wildlife centre provides many such lighter, human moments, and it also provides sanctuary for Holly later in the book. Does everything work out for her and Dylan in the end? You can find out more about The Un-Family on my website www.lindahuber.net

 

ANNA HOLMES ON THE ENVIRONMENTAL INSPIRATION FOR HER LATEST NOVEL

The back cover blurb for my novel begins like this:

Set in the Indonesian rainforest, Blind Eye is a fast-paced environmental political thriller exploring moral predicaments and personal choices.

In a nutshell Blind Eye is about illegal logging.

Governments’ failures to stop this practice is depleting the worlds rainforest at alarming rates. In the eleven years since I first wrote my story as a screenplay, to when I turned it into a novel, forest cover roughly the area of Mexico has been lost according to figures compiled by Global Forest Watch (GFW) of the World Resources Institute.

My background is in dance, theatre, yoga and writing. I know a lot about these subjects and next to nothing about trees and timber. So what drew me to write about this subject?

My partner was a founder member of Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) which promotes responsible management of the world’s forests. He is still involved. At that time, he had a company supplying FSC timber and he had travelled to different places in the world to support community forestry projects. I felt there was a story waiting to be hatched in my brain.

Many of us recognise that distinctive logo incorporating a tree with a tick on it and the initials FSC. It appears on toilet paper packaging, books, wooden kitchen utensils, garden furniture and much more. All these wood and paper products can demonstrate a chain of handlers from a well-managed forest or plantation through the milling process to the finished product. Big projects that signed up to sustainable building include the Senedd building (Welsh Parliament) in Cardiff Bay with its the magnificent curvy wooden interior and the hardwood decking outside leading to the waterfront. That is a project I know about as my partner’s company had a small role in this. Gosh, I even remember the name of the Brazilian hardwood decking: Massaranduba. Not bad!

As I said, the timber trade is not my thing, but I am environmentally conscious.

I love world-building and am a plot and character type of writer. With my debut historical novel, Wayward Voyage, (inspired by a true story) I thrust Anne Bonny into a harsh seafaring pirate life. In Blind Eye my protagonist, Ben Fletcher, is thrust into the murky world of illegal logging in an Indonesian rainforest.

With Blind Eye I am not interested in hammering readers over the head with a preachy, do-goody story. Who needs that? Readers should want to turn the page to find out what happens next. And I don’t want to just highlight the problems – we know what many of these are – so I leave readers with some hope and show that solutions are possible.

One review blogger writes: “Holmes has put together a first-rate thriller, mixed in a little romance, and shown the brutal side of business putting profits ahead of people. If the end result of reading this book is not just an enjoyable ride through some thrilling pages but also beginning to open our eyes a little wider, then we can be grateful for this story on multiple levels”.

Think about it. Don’t turn a blind eye when replacing your garden furniture or purchasing a new coffee table. That wood has a story to tell. What is it?

 

Links to Blind Eye retailers on Anna’s website

https://www.annamholmes.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Worth

Frost fiction, short stories, poems, non fiction, fiction.

The woman flicked the notes carefully through her fingers, tapping the stack of cash against her desk and peering up over her horn-rimmed glasses.

“Not police?”

The man shook his head.  There was a note of threat to the question and he turned away, fixing his gaze through the doorway, his heart racing.

Silken bronze skin swept beneath long curls of onyx hair.  Asian eyes were lidded and docile.  The woman he desired tugged her skirt over a blackened bruise.

“You like?” the Madame slipped the money into a draw, her finger stroking a pistol.

“Yes.  Very much,…”

Note from the Author:  “This story is based on an event I witnessed personally many years ago, while in Soho for an audition. I didn’t catch much of the conversation – just a man and a woman trying to tempt him into a doorway. The words “Not Police” are forever etched in my mind. It made me so sad.”

Another in our series of 100-word short stories by Tim Austin. Whatever genre you love, there’s a story you’ll enjoy over at onewordonestory.org.

Come back on Tuesday for another. See you then!

HOW AUTHOR LOUISE MUMFORD TURNED FORTY AND CHANGED HER LIFE

Guest article by Louise Mumford to celebrate publication of her debut thriller

You haven’t turned forty until you’ve turned forty at the start of a lockdown during the outbreak of a worldwide pandemic. It certainly added a level of drama: I started a new decade and the world stilled.

Forty is a milestone birthday, whether you get to party with a massive group of friends in your favourite pub or not. For me, it was doubly important because I’d made a promise to myself a few years before: by forty my life would be different.

It was a promise I kept.

I have never been able to sleep well. Insomnia has been my constant companion since I was a child. When I was young, I didn’t really see the point of sleep. Why would people do that and miss out on all the marvellous things that could happen whilst they were dozing? I couldn’t understand it. Fast forward a few years and I would be the one at house parties who would still be awake at 4 a.m. tidying up the kitchen and flicking through the books in an unfamiliar bookcase to keep myself entertained whilst everyone else slept. Now I’m much older I watch the way my husband drifts off to sleep within minutes of putting his head on the pillow and, to me, it is a magic trick I will never learn.

I’ve always thought that this never really affected my day-to-day life. I thought I coped. I was wrong.

In the opening chapter of my new book, ‘Sleepless’, the main character, Thea, has a car accident after yet another poor night’s sleep. They say write what you know. Well, I know that car accident very well. It is mine. I had got through my first day back in the new term as a teacher, a job I’d been doing for around ten years or so, and in the car I’d been congratulating myself about how well I’d coped, despite the lack of sleep. I was smug.

That was when I realised the car in front of me on the dual carriageway slip road had stopped. I crashed into it and another car crashed into me. Miraculously, nobody was badly injured. My own car was a crumpled thing and smoke wreathed around the twisted metal like a bad Eighties pop video. I remember sitting in the ambulance listening to the radio announce major tailbacks because of me and knowing that I had to change my life. I gave myself the deadline of turning forty to accomplish it.

I have always wanted to be a published author. So, I took a deep breath and left my teaching job, a job that was slowly eating away at me due to the early morning starts. My body clock eventually found a rhythm that had probably always been its own, but which modern working life didn’t allow for: a much later bedtime and a later morning. I’m a night owl at heart and, though the early bird apparently catches the worm, I’ve got myself something else, much better. I concentrated on writing and that book will be out on December 11th this year: ‘Sleepless’. I didn’t have to look far for inspiration.

Life begins at forty, so the greeting cards say, and my whole new life has just begun.

 

Louise’s debut thriller ‘Sleepless’ will be published on 11th of December as ebook and audio. Ebook is currently 99p on Amazon, Kobo and Apple. Paperback to follow in February.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Women Live with Fear and ‘Don’t Turn Around’ by Jessica Barry

 

Melissa Pimentel - Random House, author, writer, How Women live with fear and ‘Don’t Turn Around’ by ,Jessica BarryHow Women live with fear and ‘Don’t Turn Around’ by Jessica Barry – published by Harvill Secker at £12.99

I wanted to explore the female-specific relationship to fear in my new novel, Don’t Turn Around. The novel opens with Cait and Rebecca driving through the night on a deserted road. Their destination is unknown. Out of the darkness, a pair of headlights appear, intent on destruction. The two women – who, up until that night, were strangers to each other – are forced to dig into their pasts to understand who might want to kill them. 

The answer, as most women know, is not straightforward.

Is it someone from their past? Their present? Is it a complete stranger with a thirst for blood? 

Cait has experienced the full terror of online abuse first-hand. An article she wrote about a bad date was met with vitriol, and she became a figure of hate on ‘men’s rights’ chatrooms. She receives death threats from total strangers. Worse still, her home address was published on the internet without her consent, so anyone who wanted to make good on those threats can find her. Is it possible that an online troll has finally tracked her down in the flesh?

Rebecca is the wife of a prominent politician in conservative Texas. She’s spent years playing the happy campaign life, but now she finds herself in a desperate situation. Her husband has turned against her, and there’s no one she can trust to get her across the Texas state line. She has to rely on a stranger – Cait – to shepherd her to safety. But there’s no guarantee that her husband hasn’t had her followed.

What about the man at the diner who stared at them so openly? Or that strange man at the gas station? Danger lurks around every corner. The world bristles with possible menace. 

Every day, women live with fear. It’s a low-level constant, familiar as breath. We mitigate it, negotiate with it, rationalize it. We make thousands of tiny calculations and calibrations on its behalf. Is that man following me? Should I turn around and face him, or should I run? Will my shoes let me run fast enough, or should I take them off? If I scream, will it scare him? Or will it just make him angry? Is there anyone around who would hear me?

For women, the potential for danger is everywhere. Walking through an empty parking lot at night. Going for a run. Sitting alone at a bar, or in a park, and a stranger approaching you. A guy standing a little too close behind you in line at the grocery story. The car that followed you ten blocks, horn blaring, because the driver thought you cut him off.  The moment you post on social media expressing a political preference, or a divisive idea, or critique. The sickening drop a few minutes later, when the first commentator calls you a bitch.

The statistics speak for themselves. Over half of women in the US have experienced physical violence. A quarter have experienced physical or sexual assault at the hands of an intimate partner. One in five women are raped in their lifetime. One in six women are stalked. 

Things aren’t much rosier in the digital world. One study found that seventy-two percent of online harassment victims are women. Individuals using female-skewing usernames are sent threatening or explicit content twenty-five times more often than those with male-skewing or ambiguous usernames. Close to two-thirds of female journalists have been threatened, intimidated, harassed or been subject to sexist abuse online. 

Of course, men are also the victims of violence and harassment: I’m not pretending otherwise. But I think that that women view the world through a specific lens coloured by the constant potential for danger. 

Ask a man what precautions he takes before going out for a run in the morning and you’ll likely be met with a confused look. Ask a woman and she’ll tell you about pre-planned routes and high-traffic areas and the importance of keeping your headphones at a low volume so you can hear someone coming up behind you. These seemingly-minor decisions shape how we move through the world. 

To live as a woman in this world, the question isn’t so much ‘What if something happens’ but ‘When? Where? How? Who?’ And the answers are ‘Anytime. Anywhere. Anyway. Anyone.’ 

Anyone could be behind that pair of headlights. Anyone could be waiting for us around a darkened corner, waiting to strike.

So far, so dark: I know. But there’s a silver lining in all this, and that’s the way that this fear bonds women together and, in a way, it’s what makes us who we are. You know that old cliché, ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’? That’s a way of life for us. Those mental calculations make us sharper. Those keys clutched between fingers make us tougher. Those close calls and rough scrapes and stories of survival make us stronger.

In order to survive their night on the road and make it to safety, Cait and Rebecca will have to work together. They’ll have to draw deeply from their experiences and from their personal strengths, and above all, they’ll have to learn to trust each other. 

Lucky for them, they’ve had a lot of practice at the art of survival. 

The Business of Books: Millions of Thrills – Jane Cable meets USA Today bestselling author Louise Jensen

Louise’s first two novels, The Sister and The Gift, were both No.1 bestsellers, and have been sold for translation in sixteen territories. The Sister was nominated for The Goodreads Awards Debut of 2016. The Surrogate is out now.

1) How much of your working life does the business of books take up?

I’m quite structured and tend to work 9-3.15 every day to fit in with school hours. If I’m taking a book through the editing process I come back to my desk after the school run and work through until about 5.30 and I generally work for a part of most weekends too. Writing full time is busier than I’d anticipated. Writing new words is only a fraction of my day. There’s admin, interviews, events not to mention social media and blogging. In all honesty it’s taken me about a year to find my feet and settle into a good routine.

 

2) What’s your business model to earn a living from writing?

I didn’t have one! I started writing as a hobby but after completing the first draft of The Sister I read it back and realised I had something really special. I sat down with my husband and told him I’d love to work part-time for six months to give me a chance to really polish it and submit to agents and publishers. We went through our finances and realised it would be tight and sat down with the kids and discussed it as a family. Everyone agreed I should at least try. Within six months I’d signed a three book deal and six months after that I was fortunate enough to be in the position to be able to write full time.

3) What do you write and what do you consider to be your major successes?

I write psychological thrillers that also have an emotional thread running through the story line. I adore commercial fiction and thrillers and like to blend genres where I can. I love the feeling of being unnerved one second and then having a lump in my throat the next. I want to take readers through a whole spectrum of emotions when they read my stories.

Both my first two novels, The Sister and The Gift were No. 1 International Bestsellers and USA Today Bestsellers and have been sold for translation to sixteen territories. It really was a dreams come true year. The Sister sold half a million copies within the first six months and I was nominated for the Goodreads Debut Author of 2016 and also for the CWA Daggers New Blood 2017. The Sister spent over a year and a half in the psychological thriller top 100 so far.

Initially I published with Bookouture, a digital imprint of Hachette, but Sphere (Little, Brown) have since acquired paperback rights to my first three books, and a fourth to come next year, and I can’t tell you how exciting it is to walk into a bookshop or supermarket and see my stories on a shelf.

 

4) Tell me about your latest project.

The Surrogate is newly released and is the story of Kat and Nick who are desperate to be parents. They’ve almost given up hope when Kat runs into Lisa, her childhood best friend, who offers to act as a surrogate.

Kat’s longing to be a mother makes this book an emotional read, but the layers to all the characters also make this the darkest book I’ve ever written. Everyone has a secret!

I had such fun writing this story. There was no planning involved and there were so many twists and turns each day was an adventure. The ending completely took me by surprise and made me gasp out loud and so far, no reader has figured it out either, despite the clues I went back and planted.

 

At the time of publication The Surrogate is featured in a special promotion where the eBook is £0.99/$1.31 across all digital platforms for the next week. You can buy from Amazon here.

You can also find Louise at www.louisejensen.co.uk where she regularly blogs flash fiction and writing tips, and she also spends far too much time over on Twitter.

 

Give Me The Child Extract: The Hot New Thriller of The Summer

We have a treat for you: an exclusive extract of Give Me The Child. A stunning thriller from Mel McGrath. You can read our review tomorrow.

CHAPTER ONE

My first thought when the doorbell woke me was that someone had died. Most likely Michael Walsh. I turned onto my side, pulled at the outer corners of my eyes to rid them of the residue of sleep and blinked myself awake. It was impossible to tell if it was late or early, though the bedroom was as hot and muggy as it had been when Tom and I had gone to bed. Tom was no longer beside me. Now I was alone.

We’d started drinking not long after Freya had gone upstairs. The remains of a bottle of Pinot Grigio for me, a glass or two of red for Tom. (He always said white wine was for women.) Just before nine I called The Mandarin Hut. When the crispy duck arrived I laid out two trays in the living room, opened another bottle and called Tom in from the study. I hadn’t pulled the curtains and through the pink light of the London night sky a cat’s claw of moon appeared. The two of us ate, mostly in silence, in front of the TV. A ballroom dance show came on. Maybe it was just the booze but something about the tight-muscled men and the frou-frou’d women made me feel a little sad. The cosmic dance. The grand romantic gesture. At some point even the tight-muscled men and the frou-frou’d women would find themselves slumped together on a sofa with the remains of a takeaway and wine enough to sink their sorrows, wondering how they’d got there, wouldn’t they?

 

Not that Tom and I really had anything to complain about except, maybe, a little malaise, a kind of falling away. After all, weren’t we still able to laugh about stuff most of the time or, if we couldn’t laugh, at least have sex and change the mood?

‘Let’s go upstairs and I’ll show you my cha-cha,’ I said, rising and holding out a hand.

Tom chuckled and pretended I was joking, then, wiping his palms along his thighs as if he were ridding them of something unpleasant, he said, ‘It’s just if I don’t crack this bloody coding thing…’

I looked out at the moon for a moment. OK, so I knew how much making a success of Labyrinth meant to Tom, and I’d got used to him shutting himself away in the two or three hours either side of midnight. But this one time, with the men and women still twirling in our minds? Just this one time? Stupidly, I said, ‘Won’t it wait till tomorrow?’ and in an instant
I saw Tom stiffen. He paused for a beat and, slapping his hands on his thighs in a gesture of busyness, he slugged down the last of his wine, rose from the sofa and went to the door. And so we left it there with the question still hanging.

I spent the rest of the evening flipping through the case notes of patients I was due to see that week. When I turned in for the night, the light was still burning in Tom’s study. I murmured ‘goodnight’ and went upstairs to check on Freya. Our daughter was suspended somewhere between dreaming and deep sleep. All children look miraculous when they’re asleep, even the frighten- ing, otherworldly ones I encounter every day. Their bodies soften, their small fists unfurl and dreams play behind their eyelids. But Freya looked miraculous all the time to me. Because she was. A miracle made at the boundary where human desire meets science. I stood and watched her for a while, then, retrieving her beloved Pippi Longstocking book from the floor and straightening her duvet, I crept from the room and went to bed.

 

Sometime later I felt Tom’s chest pressing against me and his breath on the nape of my neck. He was already aroused and for a minute I wondered what else he’d been doing on screen besides coding, then shrugged off the thought. A drowsy, half-hearted bout of lovemaking followed before we drifted into our respective oblivions. Next thing I knew the doorbell was ringing and I was alone.

Under the bathroom door a beam of light blazed. I threw off the sheet and swung from the bed.

‘Tom?’

No response. My mind was scrambled with sleep and an anxious pulse was rising to the surface. I called out again.

There was a crumpling sound followed by some noisy vomiting but it was identifiably my husband. The knot in my throat loosened. I went over to the bathroom door, knocked and let myself in. Tom was hunched over the toilet and there was a violent smell in the room.

‘Someone’s at the door.’
Tom’s head swung round.
I said, ‘You think it might be about Michael?’
Tom’s father, Michael Walsh, was a coronary waiting to happen, a lifelong bon vivant in the post-sixty-five-year-old death zone, who’d taken the recent demise of his appalling wife pretty badly.

Tom stood up, wiped his hand across his mouth and moved over to the sink. ‘Nah, probably just some pisshead.’ He turned on the tap and sucked at the water in his hand and, in an oddly casual tone, he added, ‘Ignore it.’

As I retreated into the bedroom, the bell rang again. Whoever it was, they weren’t about to go away. I went over to the window and eased open the curtain. The street was still and empty of people, and the first blank glimmer was in the sky. Directly below the house a patrol car was double parked, hazard lights still on but otherwise dark. For a second my mind filled with the terrible possibility that something had happened to Sally. Then I checked myself. More likely someone had reported a burglary or a prowler in the neighbourhood. Worst case it was Michael.

‘It’s the police,’ I said.

Tom appeared and, lifting the sash, craned out of the window. ‘I’ll go, you stay here.’
I watched him throw on his robe over his boxers and noticed his hands were trembling. Was that from having been sick or was he, too, thinking about Michael now? I listened to his footsteps disappearing down the stairs and took my summer cover-up from its hook. A moment later, the front door swung open and there came the low murmur of three voices, Tom’s and those of two women. I froze on the threshold of the landing and held my breath, waiting for Tom to call me down, and when, after a few minutes, he still hadn’t, I felt myself relax a little. My parents were dead. If this was about Sally, Tom would have fetched me by now. It was bound to be Michael. Poor Michael.

I went out onto the landing and tiptoed over to Freya’s room. Tom often said I was overprotective, and maybe I was, but I’d seen enough mayhem and weirdness at work to give me pause. I pushed open the door and peered in. A breeze stirred from the open window. The hamster Freya had brought back from school for the holidays was making the rounds on his wheel but in the aura cast by the Frozen- the midnight light I could see my tender little girl’s face closed in sleep. Freya had been too young to remember my parents and Michael had always been sweet to her in a way that

 

his wife,who called her‘ my little brown granddaughter’,never was, but it was better this happened now, in the summer holidays, so she’d have time to recover before the pressures of school started up again. We’d tell her in the morning once we’d had time to formulate the right words.

At the top of the landing I paused, leaning over the bannister. A woman in police uniform stood in the glare of the security light. Thirties, with fierce glasses and a military bearing. Beside her was another woman in jeans and a shapeless sweater, her features hidden from me. The policewoman’s face was brisk but unsmiling; the other woman was dishevelled, as though she had been called from her bed. Between them I glimpsed the auburn top of what I presumed was a child’s head – a girl, judging from the amount of hair. I held back, unsure what to do, hoping they’d realise they were at the wrong door and go away. I could see the police officer’s mouth moving without being able to hear what was being said. The conversation went on and after a few moments Tom stood to one side and the two women and the child stepped out of the shadows of the porch and into the light of the hallway.

The girl was about the same age as Freya, taller but small-boned, legs as spindly as a deer’s and with skin so white it gave her the look of some deep sea creature. She was wearing a grey trackie too big for her frame which bagged at the knees from wear and made her seem malnourished and unkempt. From the way she held herself, stiffly and at a distance from the dishevelled woman, it was obvious they didn’t know one another. A few ideas flipped through my mind. Had something happened in the street, a house fire perhaps, or a medical emergency, and a neighbour needed us to look after her for a few hours? Or was she a school friend of Freya’s who had run away and for some reason given our address to the police? Either way, the situation obviously didn’t have anything much to do with us. My heart went out to the kid but I can’t say I wasn’t relieved. Michael was safe, Sally was safe.

 

I moved down the stairs and into the hallway. The adults remained engrossed in their conversation but the girl looked up and stared. I tried to place the sharp features and the searching, amber eyes from among our neighbours or the children at Freya’s school but nothing came. She showed no sign of recognising me. I could see she was tired – though not so much from too little sleep as from a lifetime of watchfulness. It was an expression familiar to me from the kids I worked with at the clinic. I’d probably had it too, at her age. An angry, cornered look. She was clasping what looked like a white rabbit’s foot in her right hand. The cut end emerged from her fist, bound crudely with electrical wire which was attached to a key. It looked home-made and this lent it – and her – an air that was both outdated and macabre, as if she’d been beamed in from some other time and had found herself stranded here, in south London, in the second decade of the twenty-first century, in the middle of the night, with nothing but a rabbit’s foot and a key to remind her of her origins. ‘What’s up?’ I said, more out of curiosity than alarm. I smiled and waited for an answer.
The two women glanced awkwardly at Tom and from the way he was standing, stiffly with one hand slung on his hip in an attempt at relaxed cool, I understood they were waiting for him to respond and I instinctively knew that everything I’d been thinking was wrong. A dark firework burst inside my chest. The girl in the doorway was neither a neighbour’s kid nor a friend of our daughter. She was trouble.I took a step back. ‘Will someone tell me what’s going on?’ When no one spoke I crouched to the girl’s level and, summoning as much friendliness as I could, said, ‘What’s your name? Why are you here?’

The girl’s eyes flickered to Tom, then, giving a tiny, contemptuous shake of the head, as if by her presence all my questions had already been answered and I was being obstructive or just plain dumb, she said, ‘I’m Ruby Winter.’

I felt Tom’s hands on my shoulder. They were no longer trem- bling so much as hot and spasmic.

‘Cat, please go and make some tea. I’ll come in a second.’

There was turmoil in his eyes. ‘Please,’ he repeated. And so, not knowing what else to do, I turned on my heels and made for the kitchen. While the kettle wheezed into life, I sat at the table in a kind of stupor; too shocked to gather my thoughts, I stared at the clock as the red second hand stuttered towards the upright. Tock, tock, tock. There were voices in the hallway, then I heard the living room door shut. Time trudged on. I began to feel agitated. What was taking all this time? Why hadn’t Tom come? Part of me felt I had left the room already but here I was still. Eventually,foot steps echoed in the hallway.The door moved and Tom appeared. I stood up and went over to the counter where, what now seemed like an age ago, I had laid out a tray with the teapot and some mugs.‘Sit down, darling, we need to talk.’ Darling. When was the last time he’d called me that? I heard myself saying, idiotically, ‘But I made tea!’ ‘It’ll wait.’ He pulled up a chair directly opposite me.
When he spoke, his voice came to me like the distant crackle of a broken radio in another room. ‘I’m so sorry, Cat, but however I say this it’s going to come as a terrible shock, so I’m just going to say what needs to be said, then we can talk. There’s no way round this. The girl, Ruby Winter, she’s my daughter.’