Scientists Reveal The ‘Language of Love’

finding love‘Physically fit’, ‘perceptive’ and ‘passionate’ – the words to a woman’s heart revealed

They may only be words, but the language men use in their online dating profiles can have a serious impact on getting them noticed by the opposite sex.

In a study of 12,000 dating profiles on eHarmony.co.uk, the relationship site identified the top ten words with the ‘D Factor’ – or ‘date factor’ – that were most likely to grab the attention of single women looking for great dates.

The data showed that men who mention some form of physical fitness, or described themselves as perceptive, passionate or optimisticall saw more approaches.

Conversely, women describing themselves as sweet, ambitious or thoughtful were more likely to see men start up conversations with them.

Interestingly the word ‘funny’ saw both male and female dater’s ears prick up, with both sexes ranking it sixth out of the top ten list; showing there are some things men and women do agree on.

And these extra approaches are far from insignificant. Physically fit or perceptive men attracted between 60-70% more interest from women who wanted to get to know them better; whereby sweet, ambitious or funny women saw between 20-45% more approaches.

The study also revealed that women are more interested in what men have to say for themselves, not just their looks – being more likely to consider a man based on his description rather than his picture. Words used on a profile were shown to have a wider impact (-64% to +69%) on women’s decision to approach, whereby this scale was narrower for men (-43% to +46%).

Jemima Wade, spokesperson for eHarmony.co.uk, said: “Whilst the research shows certain words serve to grab fellow daters’ attention, at eHarmony we know that daters are looking for quality dates every time. And that takes more than just a few words; it’s about finding someone with the same values, who instantly gets you.”

Jemima added: “That’s why we worked with the University of Oxford to develop our Compatibility Matching System and employ scientists to keep refining and improving our algorithm to ensure it’s the best tool to help people find that extra special someone.”

The top 10 words with the ‘D Factor’ (female / male)

1. Sweet (+46%) / Physically fit (+69%)

2. Ambitious (+39%) / Ambitious (+64%)

3. Thoughtful (+30%) / Perceptive (+63%)

4. Spontaneous (+30%) / Passionate (+54%)

5. Physically fit (+22%) / Optimistic (+44%)

6. Funny (+21%) / Funny (+38%)

7. Outgoing (+19%) / Spontaneous (+33%)

8. Optimistic (+17%) / Thoughtful (+21%)

9. Hard working (+17%) / Affectionate (+17%)

10. Passionate (+16%) / Outgoing (+17%)

Top Tips For a Skin-Friendly Summer

amandaeliasAmanda Elias, beauty expert and founder of Bravura London has her top tips for a skin-friendly Summer.

1 – The first thing you want to think about is sun protection; the sun is the main cause of premature ageing which can leave your skin dull, dry, wrinkled and with hyperpigmentation (brown spots). Protect all exposed skin with a broad spectrum SPF (protects against both UVA & UVB) of at least 30, preferably a mineral SPF which acts as a sunblock to instantly block the sun’s rays. Look for a product that’s waterproof and don’t forget your lips, ears and the back of your neck. Re-apply frequently.

2 – You may know about cleansing, exfoliating and moisturising your face but do you spend as much TLC on your body? Ensure you exfoliate at least twice a week and if possible, slather yourself daily (after your shower) in your favourite body lotion.

3 – Do you find your skin flushes when you get hot? Keep a refreshing water spray or toner spray at hand to spritz your face and neck when you feel yourself overheating

4 – Avoid wearing perfumes on your skin; when the sun hits the areas of skin that contain perfumes it can cause irritation. Fragrance your hair by spraying your hairbrush then brush through your locks, every time you swish your hair you’ll be surrounded by a beautiful fragrance.

5 – Sun and lip gloss aren’t a good combination, remember the days of people baking in the sun covered in baby oil? Same thing. Get yourself a good lip balm that contains an SPF, you can get plenty that have colour or line your lips with a lip pencil then top with a clear SPF balm.

6 – Parched skin after too much alcohol and sun? Intensely nourish your skin with an oil such as jojoba oil, this non-comedogenic (won’t block your pores) oil is more of a wax and is close to your skin’s natural oil. For sun burnt skin, help the healing process with pure aloe vera gel and apply 3-4 times a day.

7 – Don’t forget to hydrate yourself, to keep your body functioning properly and to aid in the removal of toxins from our body it needs to be well hydrated so be sure to drink 2-3 litres of liquid (sadly this doesn’t include dehydrating substances such as cocktails and coffee) per day.

Wedding Shoes | The Wedding Diary

So I have bought my wedding shoes. It was pretty hard not to put that in capital letters, that’s how excited I am. Well, to be more precise, I have two pairs of wedding shoes. One high and the other (ahem) less high. I completely love the flat shoe trend and wear them all the time, just not on my wedding day. Especially as my husband-to-be is 6.3′. It would be nice to meet his eye on our wedding day.

When I first thought about buying my wedding shoes I was going to buy something quite traditional, a silver, gold or white high-heeled sandal or shoe. In the end I went for colour. A very bright pair of high heels, but comfortable high heels. Yes, there is such a thing. They are peep-toed and after the wedding I will post lots of pictures of them. In the meantime I will post pictures of my evening shoes. They are wedges with a little heel so should be good for dancing the night away. They are a cruise shoe from Hotter and are so comfortable. Far too comfortable for something so stylish. They have built-in underfoot cushioning, soft leather inners and a flexible sole.

The Evening Shoes For Dancing

weddingshoes

WEDDINGSHOECheck out the floral lining!

With wedding shoes you want ‘wow’ and comfort. Something that makes a statement, that won’t cause a lot of pain and that also makes the dress perfect. It is possible that no one will see your shoes, but you will know you are wearing amazing shoes. You could also get some pictures of them taken by the photographer.

I have sourced some amazing wedding shoes in this article so take a look. And remember, you can wear any shoes to your wedding, you don’t need specific wedding shoes, in fact, you will probably save more money if you keep away from the ‘w’ word.

Let me know what you think.

 

The Wedding Diary: Invites

First, I have to apologise for not updating my Wedding Diary as often as I should. I assure you the wedding is being planned but I underestimated how hard it would be to run a magazine, publish a book while writing another one, be a freelance writer, act and go to auditions, finish two scripts and plan a wedding all at once. I am also sure I missed something out there. To top it all off: we are also moving a couple of days after our wedding. That won’t be stressful at all….

weddinginvitationsSo for my first of many catch-up entries I am going to start with the invites. Now a lot of wedding invites are incredibly expensive. You are talking hundreds of pounds for a piece of cardboard. We were shocked at the prices. If you add in save the date cards and thank you cards, it would be easy to rack up a thousand pounds if you include postage. So what is a frugal girl to do? Ebay. Obviously.

We got beautiful, personalised invitations for a very reasonable price. I won’t show the exact ones at the moment because I haven’t sent them out yet and we don’t want to ruin the surprise of people getting them (or have stalkers turn up at our wedding. I have had a few bad experiences in the past). The invitations are beautiful, come with envelopes and are well made and high quality. Just put ‘wedding invitations’ into the search function of Ebay and you can get some amazing ones for under £50.

We didn’t send out save the date cards because of environmental reasons, and also cost. We emailed and called people instead. The wedding industry is a £10 billion industry in the UK so don’t buy something just because you feel you have to.

When it came to the design of our invitations, we wanted something that reflected us and who we are. Family members will probably try and pull you in a certain way, but we wanted ours to be fresh and fun. Our invites are white, with a multicoloured tree. We are in our twenties so we wanted something to reflect that: nothing stuffy. They also came in a very handy, protective plastic case.

If you want to spend more on your invitations then John Lewis do some beautiful ones, and so do Marks and Spencers and VistaPrint. If you are good at DIY you can also make your own.

What to put on your invites

Your names (we included our surnames as we weren’t sure people would know who we were!)

Date and time of the wedding

RSVP details. Include a non-email option for the older guests. Include a deadline for the RSVP. Needed for the catering and seating.

The venue address and the reception address too if it is different.

Your wedding gift list number. We went with John Lewis and Prezola.com

Other options

Parents details. We decided not to do this but you can include either parents or both.  As in: ‘Mr and Mrs Smith invite *guest name*  to the marriage of their daughter, Chloe, to Matt Fox.’

Dress code. We didn’t put one on as everyone knows weddings are formal. I would only include a dress code if it is anything other than formal. For instance: a themed wedding or black tie.

You can, of course, put whatever you want on your invitations. It is your wedding.

What will you put?

 

My wedding book is out now. If you are getting married then check out my book The Wedding Survival Guide: How To Plan Your Big Day Without Losing Your Sanity, it has everything you need to know about planning your dream wedding.

 

 

How To Cut The Cost Of Booze At Your Wedding

Wedding bride and groom1) Avoid champagne. A glass of ‘bubbles’ doesn’t have to be genuine champers – and for those on a budget, I’m reliably informed that a decent sparkling wine tastes better than a cheap bottle of ‘real’ champagne. Most caterers will pre-pour the wine into glasses ready for guests to scoop up, so only connoisseurs will notice that their glass hasn’t been filled up with something that’s actually come from the Champagne region of France.

(Perhaps they will also be too polite to mention the fact that they are in fact drinking cava, the Spanish version, or Prosecco, from Italy.)

2) Mix it up. There’s no need to offer exclusively wine or champers at the reception. Ask your caterer for mixers like Buck’s Fizz (orange juice and bubbles) or more unusual concoctions such as peach juice, cranberry juice, pomegranate juice or elderflower cordial. Mixing one of these with that sparkling wine will make your alcohol go twice as far – and potentially help prevent any embarrassing scenes if a few guests are a bit too, um, thirsty . . . Name the cocktail something personal to the bride and groom and you’ve got an individual tipple with which to wow everyone.

3) However, don’t have too much choice . . . Offer guests beer, wine, soft drinks and that signature cocktail and you’ll keep most people happy. Don’t worry about spirits or other specific drinks.

4) Keep the reception short. Think of your own drinking maths: go to a bar for half an hour and you’ll have one drink, possibly two. Go for an hour, especially in a bar with not enough chairs, and you’ll easily knock back four drinks or more, right? Keep the reception brief and people will need a lot less booze to get by.

5) Do your sums. When making your bar sums, think about volume as well as price. How far will your alcohol allowance stretch? How much do you think your guests will drink in an evening? Those who are pregnant or driving home that night will consume less, for example,
so you can work out a rough drink-per-head figure. After that, talk to the wedding coordinator at your venue to work out your options.

– Some venues will let you bring in your own alcohol to stock the bar, meaning you can choose what you want, and usually secure it at a much cheaper price. If so, a bar that’s free to your guests might be more achievable. (See below for cheap alcohol-sourcing ideas.)

– However, if you have to pay bar prices, and they’re expensive, an all-night free bar might not be an option. No one is going to think any less of you if you can’t afford it, or can put up a bit of cash but not enough for the whole night. If there will be a cash bar, be sure to let people know in advance.

– For another idea, you could consider providing free wine, beer and soft drinks to guests all evening, but ask those who want to have (pricier) spirits or champagne to put their hands in their pockets.

– If you’re having some guests just coming to, say, dessert and dancing or the evening celebration, it’s worth thinking if there’s a way of offering these guests a drink on arrival – perhaps with a waiter holding a tray of wine, beer or bubbly as they walk through the door.

6) Booze cruise. If you are allowed to supply your own alcohol, there are lots of ways to cut the cost. If you’ve time, book a booze cruise to Calais as a pre-wedding day
trip to test wines and load up the car with the best ones to kick off your celebrations. The strength of the euro put the skids on this trip for a few years, but now there are bargains galore once more. The ferry is usually the cheapest way to get to France, so look up ticket prices via a ferry aggregator site such as ferrysavers.com or AFerry.co.uk. Use these to find out who operates the routes you want, and when, and how much cheaper they are
at particular times of the day, week or year. Then, when actually booking, check the direct price first as doing so often triggers a saving as you avoid agency or booking fees. If you have flexible working hours or can take time off work, weekday crossings – especially in on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays – tend to be less expensive than weekend ones, but avoid the school holidays if possible. Be aware of HMRC’s tax rules: ‘When arriving into the UK from an EU country you can bring in an unlimited amount of most goods. But you transport the goods yourself; and the goods must be for your own use or as a gift.’

7) Bargain hunt. If you’re buying booze in this country, there are still ways to do so cleverly and cut the cost. Start scouting for bargains as soon as possible – if you get
engaged at Christmas, for example, seek out bargains in the January sales, as long as you can keep the booze in a cool place that will prevent in from spoiling. It’s also worth
having a look at the offers at wine clubs and online retailers such as Virginwines.co.uk.

8) Be vino-savvy. Remember, there’s a difference between cheap wine and good wine and you’ll have to do your research (including tastings, obviously – possibly one of the best bits of wed-research around), as supermarkets and wine discounters will boast about bargains even when you can actually get the same stuff from elsewhere for far less. The experts in specialist stores such as Majestic Wines (majestic.co.uk) will be able to advise you on the best deals and wines to suit your planned meal and budget – and if you’re buying a large number of bottles, they may be able to cut you a deal too. The website quaffersoffers.co.uk also lists current deals at supermarkets and other wine-sellers, as well as having extensive expert reviews which will help anyone who feels nervous about picking drinks for all their guests, courses, etc.

9) Look out for bin ends. Shops are often trying to get rid of last year’s stock for no other reason than they want fresh bottles on their shelves. This also means you can
serve lesser-known bottles of wine, which has another benefit if you’re worried about snobbery. While any vaguely wine-interested people might know that, say, a particular vineyard or vintage was going cheap, an alternative coming from, say, an Australian vineyard might be trickier for them to price.

10) Bulk buy. Make the most of discount stores and cash ’n’ carries such as Costco (costco.co.uk), Booker (booker.co.uk) and Makro (store.makro.co.uk) plus the likes of Aldi and its rivals (aldi.co.uk, lidl.co.uk). These often have decent deals on wine, spirits and mixers. Always try a sample before you buy a large quantity to make sure it suits your taste.

11) Become a vintner. Alternatively, if you’re really into money-saving, you could try making your own wine. Buy a kit – the very specific, extensive instructions, are fairly easy to follow. I once made some of my own red wine that was really drinkable. I admit not being brave enough to serve it at my wedding, but if you’re good at it, can make the wine
(or ale) in advance and find others like it too, it’s an easy way to serve up booze at a fraction of the normal cost.

 

FROM YES TO I DO by Lucy Tobin is published by Heron Books, £9.99.

Published in Kindle or hardback.

 

My Skincare Secrets By Nakita Grewal

I’m going to share a skincare secret of mine, well of my mums. As the teenage years approached me I battled with the dark side of teenage acne, I tried skincare product after skin care product, spending from a few pounds into hundreds but I never found a product I was satisfied with. Not only was my skin breaking out but I also have the great honour of having dry sensitive skin so I have to be very careful with what I put on my face. After another failed battle in my war to control my breakouts, my mum made me a home remedy, a lemon and honey facemask. She never shared this with me before due to the sensitivity of my skin and how the lemon may react but since I tried anything and everything that I could find, there was no harm in trying this.

kate bosworth, beauty, skin., skincare

Get great skin like Kate’s.

 

It is a very quick and simple mask squeeze the juice of a lemon and mix it with honey in a bowl and apply to your face for about 10 – 15 minutes. After trying this the first time I’ll be honest I wasn’t that impressed but after doing this 1 -2 times a week for 3 weeks I noticed a difference I wasn’t having extreme breakouts and my complexion was starting to glow.

The lemon is the important ingredient in this. Firstly it dries up spots, and helps prevent breakouts as it is a natural cleanser. But it doesn’t stop there it helps in aiding an even skin tone and gives you a beautiful glow. But remember if you are using lemon on your face it is very very important to wear sun block as it does make your skin sensitive to the sun.

The honey works as moisturizer and a healer, as the lemon dries up and cleanses the skin, the honey works it magic to prevent over drying of the skin as well as healing the breakouts. These two natural products work hand in hand and leave you with gorgeous looking skin.

Also you can use the same ingredients to make a super face exfoliator by adding sugar. Use the scrub on your face for about 5 minutes going in circular motions to really scrub away at the dead skin cells and revive a new glow.

These techniques have helped me with my battle to control my skin and have worked wonders even with my sensitive skin.

 

What do you think? Do you have any beauty tips?

 

The Wealthy Women: A Man Is Not a Financial Plan. Mary Waring Interview

The Wealthy Woman: A Man is Not a Financial Plan: A Woman's Guide to Achieving Financial SecurityWe interviewed The Wealthy Women: A Man Is Not a Financial Plan author Mary Waring. She had some great advice to give and has also written a great book that every women should read. In the meantime, pick up some tips in our interview with her.

 

What made you write the book?

I’ve come across so many very bright women who have an issue with maths and finance. My theory is that the way it is taught in schools is much more suited to a typical male brain rather than a female brain. (I obviously don’t have a typical female brain!)

So many bright women have a mental block about maths and dealing with their finances. I decided therefore I’m would write a very down to earth, no jargon guide to looking after your finances and improving your wealth.

Are women worse than men when it comes to finance?

As above, I think women tend to put it very far down the list of priorities. They look after the house, their partner, the children etc but very far down the list is looking after themselves. In addition only about 10% of advisers are female. The typical adviser is male, middle aged, grey hair, grey suit. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that but many women are looking for someone different and may be struggling to find a female adviser.

Do too many women still rely financially on men?

I think a lot do. The female often looks after the house and the children and all the general housekeeping issues. The male often looks after the finances. In any relationship it’s sensible for one person to look after the finances, and in my experience that is often the male. The woman does not play an active role in the finances and if worst thing happens and they get divorced the female is totally at a loss as to how to look after herself financially. A number of women also assume their husband’s pension will cover both of them in retirement. But this may not be the case.

What are women’s financial strengths and weaknesses?

Strengths- very good at following a set procedure once it’s explained to them. They’re not as competitive as men as a rule so do not need to “beat the market” with their investment return. They’re looking for a steady investment growth. They’re happy to take advice and happy to admit if there’s something they don’t understand.

Weaknesses- lack of confidence regarding finances and tendency to stick their head in the sand rather than deal with it.

What can women do to help themselves financially?

If their partner deals with the finances make sure they sit down on a regular basis and discuss the finances: how much money comes in each month, how much gets spent and what on. Discuss what savings, investments and pensions exist.

If they deal with the finances themselves, then start to look at what they are spending against what income is coming in. They must start to plan for the future and consider what income they will need/want in retirement.

What pitfalls should they look about for?

If something goes wrong (e.g. a large unexpected bill) don’t give up and think the plan isn’t working. Keep at it.

What is the best way to save?

The best way to save is to have a regular amount come out of your account each month by standing order or direct debit. Have that money come out of your account before you start spending. Frequently people wait until the end of the month and decide to save what’s left in their account. But all too often there’s nothing left. If the saving happens before spending it often won’t be noticed that there is less to spend.


Best way to get out of debt?

The best way to get out of debt is to do a strict budget so that you can pay off as much as possible of the debt as quickly as possible. Interest on debt increases at a huge amount so make an effort to get the debt paid down by always paying more than the minimum.

Best way to get wealthy?

The best way to get wealthy is to make that your priority and then each day take some small steps towards achieving that. Too often this looks like too big a challenge but it’s the small steps on a regular basis that can really help your wealth. Choosing to eat out at a much cheaper spot than you would normally use will not make any difference to your wealth if you do it just once. But if you do this on a regular basis so you can save more, then over time it will make a difference.

Top financial tip?

For a period of 3 months keep a very detailed record of what you are spending, including everything that you pay for in cash. Carry a notebook around in your handbag so you can note it down straight away. Look at this in detail and ask yourself “How can I reduce this cost?”. You’d be surprised how much we all overspend without being aware of it. Until you know what you’re spending your money on you are not in a position to do anything about it.

Thank you Mary.

The Wealthy Woman is available from Amazon and is reviewed here.

 

Body Shape 101

Now to get the most out of any wardrobe or any shopping experience you need to know what body shape you fall under and understand some very simple rules. Following on from my DIY Style Capsule Wardrobe from last week here are the key elements of shape for the 5 main body types and how you can dress to enhance, conceal and fake the perfect silhouette.
Body shape
Their are 5 basic shapes the Pear, Inverted triangle, Rectangle, Hourglass and Apple with the Hourglass being the most desired. Or the most balanced shape that every stylist will tell you is the shape you need to aim for or fake if you can.
pear
The Pear has a tiny top half with a heavier bottom and thicker legs. Loose fluid trousers and long maxi skirts should be sort after, an empire line dress works wonders for the pear and dive into the belt section to really accentuate that tiny waist. Avoid puff selves and skinny jeans at all costs. You will just be adding on the pounds and not realising it. Skirt lengths need to kept below the calf too. If you are searching for the perfect shape then you need to be careful that the hem falls around the thinnest part of the leg, or just where it starts to become thicker. Hems that stop at the thickest part of the thigh or calf are a huge No No! For any shape for that matter!!
body-type-inverted-triangle
The Inverted Triangle has a larger torso and arms with slim legs. Stay away from the puff selves ladies. You will be bigger busted too so it’s a good idea to avoid polo necks. This will just make your bobbies look 10 times bigger. V necks are perfect for you. Long necklaces to draw the eyes down in nice lines. Slightly fitted crisp shirts over pale coloured jeans with darker colours always on the top to balance the figure out. Avoid at all costs the dreaded large patterned tops and pale jackets. You will need to find fab tailored jackets with no shoulder pads, or take them out! Then wear skinny jeans and flat pumps to create your chic silhouette.
banana
I’m a Rectangle i.e. the Banana and that basically means I am straight up and down with a slightly thicker middle. Now this shape is harder to dress than you would think. We need to be very careful we don’t accentuate our middles too much as we could look a little lumpy!  We have slim arms and slim legs so skirts that fall around the midi calf length will make our legs look like they go on forever and a day. We can wear minis in abundance but not too short! When thrift store shopping we need to look out for dresses that can be shortened and have a slightly gathered waist to create the impression of curves. Flared skirts, jeans and trousers will make the waist look slimmer but avoid thick waist belts. This will only enhance the bigger waist. Darker colours should be worn near the mid section and large statement necklaces to bring the eyes away from the waist. This in turn will also give the impression of a larger bust, thus balancing out the shape.
hourglass
Now the Hourglass has a tiny waist, perfect curves in all the right places. Some hate their larger bottom but all you need to do is find Aline skirts, or fuller 50s style items. Little cropped jackets that nip in at the waist. Belts of all descriptions are perfect for you. Master the are of the dart on your sewing machine and you will be able to create an abundance of stunning outfits. Avoid the tube mini skirts and baggy unfitted jackets as all this will do is make you look disproportioned.
Brightly coloured fabrics and draping looks sensational on the Hourglass. Just think Jessica Rabbit!
appleheader2

The Apple body shape has slim arms and legs with a more rounded tummy. Slim trousers with no pleating is needed here and stay away from the double breasted jackets. Opt for clean long lines down the centre of the torso avoiding belts around the middle as this will enhance what should be concealed. With the Apple it’s important not to try too hard to fake the hourglass figure as all you will do is bring attention to your larger waist. Pay more attention you your lovely slim legs and arms. Wear long necklaces that draw the eye downwards. Just think nice long lines. Keep jackets longer and always keep them open to create the illusion of a slim figure. Long line Waistcoats are a must so search for single breasted jackets that the arms can be removed.

Fashion is fun and sometimes the rules are there to be broken so if you see something you like just try it. If it works then that’s amazing, if not think about adapting it. If you can’t do the DIY Styling yourself then find a seamstress that can. Most dry cleaners offer an alteration service, but just keep in mind things can fairly easily be made smaller. Not so easily made bigger.

Happy DIY Styling ladies and for more styling looks and DIY advice hop on over to SLB Style or follow Sarah on Twitter here.

 

*google images