Tag Archives: Wendy Thomson

Wendy's Baby Diary: 19 Weeks – Who's Holding The Baby?

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Childcare

This week, I’d like to discuss the emotive issue of childcare – who to leave your baby with, from what age and what your options are.

Parents

There is an argument for mums to look after their children full time until they go to school and I think that is what my mum did for me. You could even home school if you wanted to continue being with your children full-time and believed that was in their best interest.

I’m finding the childcare situation hard. I love being with my son and he is my responsibility. At the same time, childcare is so demanding that, occasionally, I want a break to be ‘me’ again and not the constant food source / entertainment / companion. We’re in a fortunate situation that Dillon’s grandparents want to babysit for us when they can, but we are also looking into a nursery place for when I go back to my studies and to work.

Nursery

The advantages of a nursery are that your child learns to socialise with other children from a young age, to share, to interact and be stimulated, even educated. I think the main disadvantages are going to be if it’s not a good nursery. There is also the cost (up to £60 a day), which is hopefully outweighed by you being able to earn a salary.

Another consideration is the waiting list. I had no idea how long it can take to get a place. It can take up to months, especially for popular nurseries.  Some mums even sign up for a nursery place while they are pregnant! I was told the best start date for a baby is September / October, because a bunch of kids leave in September when they start school and all the younger age ranges move up a class. By January, most nurseries are full again.

Relatives

Relatives may have no charge attached but it’s important to not take them for granted. Some grandparents almost want to be a parent again and they may offer full time childcare, and in some situations this is the only viable financial solution for a family.

Nanny

Other options are a childminder or a nanny or au pair but I’m not looking for full time childcare and I don’t want someone looking after Dillon in our home. I think the main disadvantage of an individual is if they wanted to be abusive or neglectful there is no-one around to notice. At a nursery, there are a lot of staff and more controls are in place over professional standards of care and competence.

The only way you can tell if a nursery is right for you is by visiting a nursery in person. I went to see two last week and both were well advertised, one was rated Good in an OFSTED report, the other OUTSTANDING and within the first ten minutes of being in each nursery I knew that one wasn’t right for my son and the other one was.

Babies’ age

In terms of age, I’m looking for Dillon to start at nursery two days a week from six months old.  Maternity leave in the UK is allowed for up to 12 months, so six months may seem very young, but some nurseries accept babies from six weeks old. I was told that the average age for babies starting at nursery is currently between nine and 12 months old. A benefit for starting childcare at six months or earlier is that the baby is not so attached to the parent that they get upset when you leave them.

Whether Dillon misses me or not at nursery, I know I will find it hard to leave him there. But I want to provide for him and I want to be a good role model. I hope it all works out.

What the baby has been doing this week

Dillon is a smiler. For the first few weeks of their life babies only smile when they pass wind! and they start to genuinely smile from between six and eight weeks old. I wish I had written down when Dillon first smiled or laughed, but it is genuinely delightful when he does and he has been doing so for a good six weeks, maybe longer. He responds very well to people smiling at him if they hold their faces close and he imitates other people’s laughter.  In the past couple of weeks he has noticed our dog fetching balls and toys and this makes him laugh.

Classes

We’ve recently signed Dillon up for baby sensory classes and also to swimming classes starting in September, so I’ll report on those when they start. I went to a free taster class for the baby sensory and it was very good for the children, a lot of songs, baby signing, toys, a puppet show, a light show (felt like an early introduction to children’s theatre!) and a chance to meet other mums and have a chat. Dillon spent the hour staring at everyone and everything and slept really well afterwards.

Until next time – if you work with children, please be good to them!

© Wendy Thomson

Wendy Thomson is the editor of www.femalearts.com an online publication which promotes women in the arts and in business.

Wendy's Baby Diary: 18 Weeks – I Nearly Gave Up David Tennant

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Babies come with sacrifices – social, financial, habitual – and I’ve got used to giving up / reducing alcohol, caffeine & sleep amongst others. But this week called for the sacrifice of Much Ado About Nothing tickets, starring David Tennant and Catherine Tate, as it was becoming a logistical and babysitting nightmare.

I’m happy to report it all worked out at the last minute, and we had our first evening out without Dillon in the four months since he was born. Great show too.

What the baby has been doing this week
If I place Dillon on his back, he will usually roll onto his front, then holds his head and bottom in the air and proudly rocks in that place – his knees push forwards but he hasn’t worked out what to do with his hands. Eventually he cries in frustration and I change his position.

Teething – Dillon started to teeth a couple of weeks ago. Symptoms are lots of saliva, pushing his fists in his mouth, trying to bite down on any passing piece of fabric or toy and the ubiquitous crying. I’ve had some good advice from a friend who recommended Calpol and a gum gel which relieves soreness. We got Dentinox, but there are other brands. We have teething rings for him which also work. Apparently babies can start to feel their teeth coming through up to two months before they appear, and will continue to teeth up to 2 ½ years old.

Goods
Dillon was given a great toy from M&S called My First Magic Mirror Laptop which plays songs at the touch of a button. It’s marketed for one-year-olds but Dillon likes the music, lights and mirror and bashes away at the buttons indiscriminately with his fist and usually manages to press something. I’m sure the batteries will wear out soon.

Pushchair – if you are choosing a pram this one item will take a lot of thought, as well as being one of the most expensive purchases. We settled on a Quinny Buzz travel system which has a three wheel base and is compatible with a car seat, a cot and a chair. It suits our lifestyle, which includes lots of trips in the car and outdoor walks with the dog. Its downsides are size (width) and weight (quite heavy) but then so is the car seat.

Pets
We have a five-year-old chocolate Labrador and we had concerns about how the dog would get on with the baby. The dog is quite boisterous and strong, although he is good with other people’s children. It has been a gradual integration helped by separating parts of the house with baby gates and the dog instructed to keep away from toys, mats and chairs which belong to the baby. However, this did not stop the brand new Bumbo chair from being chewed (wrecked). We are now onto a second Bumbo, which is kept out of the dog’s reach.

Exhaustion
Earlier on this week, I was feeling really drained and didn’t make it out of the house to see a friend as arranged. I’m feeling rejuvenated after my evening to see Shakespeare in the West End and weekends are always better as my husband is around to help. I’m not sure what advice to give, as I think I need it myself. But babies are more work than I appreciated and when I’m struggling I need to ask for help. I think I have a good support network and it’s a case of dismissing feelings of pride and inadequacy, and being honest. I’m sure lots of mums have times when you feel like you’re not coping.

Until next time – I get by with a little help from my friends.

© Wendy Thomson
Wendy Thomson is the editor of http://www.femalearts.com an online publication which promotes women in the arts and in business.

Wendy's Baby Diary: 17 Weeks

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Hi, I’m Wendy. I’m in my thirties and I have a 17-week-old baby called Dillon.

I’m going to keep a weekly blog on what’s been happening with Dillon, which will hopefully be helpful to anyone who’s pregnant or has a young baby themselves. And I’m also hoping that it will be a great record for him to read when he grows up – or possibly just plain embarrassing.  :o)

In the meantime, if you have a baby or pregnancy-related question you would like answered, you can contact me via frostmag or email editor@femalearts.com and I’ll reply via this blog.

Christening

We recently had Dillon Christened, which was a great day and a good event for extended family and friends to officially welcome Dillon into the world, as well as the church. If you’re not religious. a naming day is a good alternative. A Chinese friend told me they have a tradition of celebrating when the baby is 100 days old.

I think having an official day to celebrate your baby when they are approximately three months old is good for many reasons. Immediately after the birth is too soon to be bombarded with well-wishers. You need time and some privacy to get used to your new arrival yourselves, with perhaps just close friends and relatives. But if you leave a bigger get together until their first birthday, they’re no longer a small helpless baby, but moving about and possibly talking, and even walking.

So, the three month mark is a good compromise. Not so young that you can’t cope, but not so old that the relatives think they have missed out. Three months also seems to be the age that babies appear on TV or book covers as the standard image of a baby. When they’re born, they look too small – because we’re not used to seeing them that size!

Goods

We all know that children are expensive. They shouldn’t be, but we live in a consumer society and we are anxious parents who want our children to be safe, well-educated and stimulated. Guilt sells so many items!

I hate the parent guilt trip, so please do whatever makes sense to you, as parental instinct will see you right. However, I am happy to recommend products that have worked for me and Dillon.

Pampers – You can try other brands of nappies and we did – cheaper, store own brands. And the baby’s shit leaked everywhere. Pampers do a great job of keeping everything in, so long as you change the nappy regularly (after a feed or every two to three hours).

Nappies in general – Make sure your baby is wearing the right size. This changes quickly. Dillon is nearly four months old and in size three, so that’s nearly one size change a month. Buying in bulk may seem like a good idea, as they can get through as many as 12 nappies a day! But you could end up with a lot of nappies left over, as they grow so fast. Of course, you could go down the eco-route and buy washable Terry nappies. I think our environment is important, but I had to draw a line.

Clothes – Similar to nappies. Don’t be tempted to buy loads of newborn outfits. If your baby is born at an average weight (anywhere between 5-8lbs) they may only be in newborn clothes for a matter of weeks. Then the next size of clothes (0-3 months) will only last another couple of months before they’re into the next size (3-6 months). I find it hard to believe that an entire new set of clothes are required every three months. Why hasn’t someone invented adjustable clothes that last six months or a year? But this is capitalism at its best, so be careful and don’t get carried away buying expensive outfits which will only be worn a few times.

Bumbo – Funny sounding seat that is brilliant for babies once they can hold their head and want to sit upright. It is ergonomically designed to hold the baby in place and they seem very happy in their throne. Dillon used his for the first time today and was so delighted, he christened it in the typical ‘throne’ manner (perhaps potty training will go well). I have a lot of chairs for Dillon, some better than others. We live in a three-storey town house, so I want one baby chair on each floor to avoid having to carry chairs up and down the stairs – as well as the baby.

Fisher Price Aquarium Take Along Swing – This is a musical chair that Dillon really enjoys sitting in for about 15 minutes, before he gets bored or frustrated! This was a used gift from friends of my in-laws. I recommend not buying everything new for a baby. It is too expensive and these items take up a lot of space. But if you don’t know where an item has come from (e.g. not passed down by relatives or friends) then of course take precautions and check the product thoroughly for safety. And if in doubt, don’t use it. However, the only items that should always be brand new are your baby’s cot mattress and car seat.

What’s new this week

Dillon is now rolling himself onto his side and his front. It came to light when my husband asked me if I’d put Dillon to bed on his front. “Of course not,” I replied indignantly (as this is a known cause of cot death) we turned him onto his back, and he immediately flipped himself onto his front again!

It’s a good thing for babies to do this (when awake) because they are getting ready to crawl.

Until next time – happy parenting,
Wendy.

© Wendy Thomson 2011
http://www.femalearts.com

Carrington (1995) [Retro Film Review]

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Carrington starring Emma Thompson, Jonathan Pryce, Rufus Sewell and Alex Kingston.  1995.
“I love you….but I can’t sleep with you.” A wonderful film about the artist Dora Carrington (Emma Thompson) and her relationship with the author Lytton Strachey (Jonathan Pryce), this film is humorous, intelligent, thought provoking and one of my faves. Set in the English countryside during World War I the film explores their unlikely friendship, the role (or lack of) of the upper classes during the war and Dora’s numerous unsuccessful love affairs…as their life is unravelled we gain a glimpse of their artistry and the work that made them famous.
Maybe they’re not that famous because I had heard nothing about Dora & Lytton before watching the film and you may not have heard of them either, but that really isn’t necessary to enjoy this. Jonathan Pryce is such a talented actor and he has some really funny lines, Rufus Sewell (Dark City) is present as one of Carrington’s lovers, Alex Kingston (Dr Corday from ER, River Song in Doctor Who) plays the lover of Dora’s lover. The film is 15 years old but seems to be frozen in its own time capsule; Alex Kingston and Emma Thompson look much younger and different to how you have seen them before on screen.  They are classic and elegant.
If you watch this film you may think I’m rather naive to rave about how well the film looks in terms of period, costume and set but I’m not so naive as to believe you will like Carrington as much as I do – it has one of the best endings a film could have.

Buy Carrington on DVD [Product Page]

by Wendy Thomson