You know it’s time to leave when…

1. The Christmas office party does not extend beyond £25 per head and a memo goes out beforehand on ‘company standards’
2. The HR Manager knows your name, really well
3. The logo is blue and boring or the company has ‘solutions’ in the name
4. You get issued with an employee badge and an employee number
5. The internal meeting is more important than a customer meeting
6. The execs have their own car parking spaces
7. A company-wide email comes round asking “whoever parked in the MD’s parking space to please move their car straight away”
8. The loo roll is as thin as the office walls
9. The company has a fish tank, a flag or even worse an animal mascot
10. The company has a restricted use of the internet and social media sites during office hours
11. Flexible working means some nights you can knock off at six
12. The company has no women on the board or in senior management positions
13 .The annual kick get relocated from Dubai to Derby
14. Your company downgrades its biscuits to Rich Tea
15. The CEO complains that it’s easy not being the CEO
16. Part of your promotion means you get a comfier chair
17. You get passed over for promotion because your skirt is not short enough
18. The company ‘invests’ in plastic plants
19. Questions are asked whether you have contributed to the tea and coffee fund
20. The execs drive cars worth more than your house and wear watches worth more than your car
21. The boss thinks it’s cool to start up a company band………..as long as he is in it
22. A senior exec has to leave the company suddenly because of an ‘expenses irregularity’
23. You spend half your wages on restaurant/coffee machine
24. The CEO takes a special interest in interviewing female graduate trainees
25. The receptionist doesn’t learn your name and never will
26. The company share scheme is worth 1/10 of the boss’s monthly pension scheme but is less likely to pay out
27.The company party moves from a London venue to the company meeting room
28. The ageing CEO starts wearing tight black t-shirts and jeans to the office
29.The HR director has a seat at the management meetings
30. Your boss doesn’t know who your clients are
31.Your company announces a 24/7, 365 days a week policy and insists you adhere to it
32.Your office socials are 3-line-whips, but you still have to buy your own beer
33.You have a retirement date calculator as a screen saver
34.Your HR department is more listened to than customers
35.You are passed over for promotion in favour of the boss’s secretary who has decided to re-train
36.You walk past the HR manager’s office and you see your name’s on the board
37.You get stuck in the revolving door at head office and need to be released by the fire brigade
38.The boss says, why do we need a Social Media strategy?
39.The receptionist is replaced by meeters and greeters
40.Your boss has a special obsession with dogs wearing glasses and other ropey Powerpoint clip-art
41.Your boss keeps telling you there’s a tough reception outside and there’s no way you could get another job
42.You’ve heard your boss’s “why I set up the company” first hand 200+ times and there doesn’t seem to be an edited version
43.You take your clients out for lunch and your boss pays with a Pizza Express ‘buy-one-get-one free’ voucher
44.The CEO says we must do the right thing by the customer, but you know you will be asked to do unnatural things to make the numbers at the end of the quarter
45.You get a new set of business cards with a 25-year career logo on
46.The organisation chart goes up and your name’s not on it
47.Your new boss says I won’t be making any changes – just yet
48.Your boss knows your partner’s name at the Christmas party but forgets yours
49.Your boss is married to the HR manager and you’re unaware of it
50.The company mascot has its own web site and blog

So that is the Frost / Clevertouch definitive list of 50 ways (reasons) to leave your company. If you can tick more than 5 we suggest you should start clearing your in-tray immediately and perhaps contacting us at info@clever-touch.com.

We would love to get to a top 100, if you can contribute more please visit our joined-up-marketing blog (www.clever-touch/blog) and add your top reasons to leave in the comments box below or in Frost’s comment box below.