Tag Archives: work/life balance

Nearly Half of Men Feel Under Pressure To Juggle a Career With Children

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Dads left out in the cold: one in five fathers would like more time off work to bond with their children

  • Nearly half (42%) of men feel under pressure to juggle a career with having children
  • Almost half of fathers (46%) don’t think their workplaces offer enough flexibility to adequately juggle childcare with work
  • Much discrimination against women surrounds preconceptions on their taking time off to have children

gorgeousbaby

It is a man’s world, a part from when it comes to children. Courts tend to favour the mother and many men don’t get to see their own children as much as they like, if at all. In fact, if a couple is not married, the man has no rights at all.

One in five fathers (22%) would like more time off work to bond with their children according to a survey by serviced office provider Business Environment. The research shows that modern men are finding it difficult to maintain a work / life balance that allows them to spend enough time with the kids.

Almost half of fathers (46%) feel that their workplaces do not offer enough flexibility to juggle childcare commitments with work life. While the debate usually revolves around flexibility for mothers, this research highlights that employers are behind the times by overlooking the importance of flexible working for fathers.

When asked about the changes in paternity law that will allow parents to share maternity/paternity from next year, 75% of men and women welcome the changes believing that it will help fathers bond with their children and decrease the discrimination against mothers in the workplace. Those who answered negatively cited reasons such as the cost of implementing new legislation and their belief that childcare is the domain of women.

Positively, more than half (56%) of respondents say they would share leave equally with their partner if given the chance, demonstrating the potential to affect changes in attitudes towards women if it were perceived that men were just as likely to take time off to have children.

David Saul, managing director, Business Environment said: “Since I founded Business Environment 20 years ago, I have seen a huge shift in perceptions about both men and women at home and in the workplace. The view that women should stay at home and look after the kids while the man brings home the money is archaic to say the least. However, our research suggests that employers are not keeping up with the times. We hear a lot about ensuring there is flexibility in place for working mothers, but today it is just as important that men are considered equal in sharing childcare commitments – and that means making allowances in their working schedules too.”

While men may be feeling under pressure, much of the gender discrimination that takes place in the workplace centres on women having children. The research found that more than a quarter of employers would be reluctant to hire a women if she were of child-bearing age (27%) or already has children (26%).

David Saul explains how the change in paternity law may have a positive effect for women, as well as men: “I believe the changes in paternity leave will have a two-fold effect. Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, more men taking time out when their children are born will reduce the stigma that still surrounds women in the workplace, opening up more opportunities and making bigger cracks in the glass ceiling. Secondly, of course, it will allow fathers to spend more time bonding with their children.”

 

 

Vanessa Vallely Interview Part Two: We Are The City Founder Tells All.

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Part 2

Tell us about your day job. You are head of business management at Aviva

“Basically, it is a business management role. It’s just insuring that the business operates and that the department runs effectively. So there is a risk audit, finance, a bit of HR. I provide support to the COO and the leadership team. So I make things happen and I get things done. I very much enjoy it, it’s a supportive role. I am mentoring other people in Aviva as well and growing a talent pool. I have some good relationships here and let it be said that Aviva have been massively supportive to the website. They know I run the website, they know that I go off and do charity things and they are one of the most supportive employers I have ever worked for. It’s a fantastic place to work.”

If you could have had any other career what would it have been?

“When I left school, I thought I wanted to be a policewoman, and then I thought I wanted to be a lawyer, then a judge, then I wanted to go into the army. So when I look back, they are all quite authoritarian, so I definitely wanted to rule the world in some kind of guise. If I could have had another career I think I would have been a midwife, because it was something that always interested me. I don’t know if I would have had the guts to do it, but I liked the thought of bringing children into the world.

“The funny thing was is that I was not naturally maternal before I had kids, if I heard a child crying in the supermarket I would be like, ‘Shut that child up’. When I had my own baby, it kicked in. I always found it hard to play with children because I was an only child and I played on my own. When I play with my own children, I tend to go off on my own and I have to bring myself back again. I was just used to playing that way. I would still like to be a midwife actually. It is still something that interests me to this day.”

You have won a lot of awards, which ones are you particularly proud of?

“The women in banking and finance award I was very proud of. My mum and dad were there and my dad hadn’t been very well. They divorced 38 years ago but they get along really well. To have them both there was special to me because they have seen me get to where I have gotten to. It was great to be recognised by such a wonderful body. That means so much to me. For the second one, I went to Washington to pick it up. That was a global award and the same one as the three women I have nominated have won. So I have said to my girls, “No more awards please’. I have won quite a lot. My job now is to judge awards and put other women forward, raise their profile and help them along in their career. I have had five award winners in the past year.”

That’s a good rate!

“That is a good rate. But all of them have achieved amazing things, setting up networks, giving effort and giving back to the next generation of women. So if I am in a position to help them, then of course I am going to.”

Your parents must be very proud of you.

“Yeah. My mum is my biggest fan. I mean, she helps me a lot. There is a lot of support behind me. There is my childminder, I don’t think I could do anything without her. There is an ironing man who comes and collects my ironing. It’s the best £30 a week I have ever spent. He would be the last to go. My husband is a huge support. There are a lot of people who enable me to do what I do. I help them all back in different ways. It’s a two-way street. My mum still works, she’s only young, she’s not even 60 yet. So obviously she helps me as much as she can. She is also my best friend. That helps. I confide in her a lot. When I am getting too tired she is the one that says to me, ‘Enough’.”

Mums know

“Exactly, mums know. I am like a train, I just keep going.”

How important is the support of Wearethecity for women?

“There has been a shortage of women in financial services, engineering and IT. The gender issue it not as prevalent as it once was, but at a high level, there is a lack of women in senior roles. And then there is a shortage of women making it onto boards. The City gets a lot of bad press, but we do contribute to the world economy, the UK’s economy. It’s not all million pound bonuses. You are talking about a very small percentage of people. It’s not all financial workers either, there are a lot of people who work in the periphery, you have the bars and the restaurants, and the shops and the retail outfits. It is not just financial services.

“I would encourage women to come up here and try to work. Try and see if they can have a career in the City. It is an exciting time and we are waiting here to support them.”

What do you think of the current government? Do you think they are doing a good job?

“I try to stay clear of politics. One of the things I don’t get involved in is politics. I don’t stay on top of the policies or anything like that. I have no particular alliance to any party. What I would comment on is when they do things that affect young families, because it is a struggle having kids and bringing them up. Childcare is a major thing for young couples, and women returning to work and stuff like that. I have no particular pick of the politicians, I don’t think any of them can be trusted. That would be the only thing I would say.”

Do you think you have a good work/life balance?

“Sometimes not. It was an unique week last week. I dropped my phone down the toilet, I lost my cash card, and I had tonsillitis, one of the kids caught nits, it was just a calamity of errors. I got lost on the same stretch of motorway that I have driven on a hundred times for an hour and a half, going backwards and forwards. I think I was just having one of those weeks. On Sunday night I didn’t get to bed until 11. I didn’t get to wash my hair so it’s dry shampoo on the Monday as I’m going out the door.

“There are weeks when I get it and I learn to appreciate when I’ve got that balance. When it’s Sunday night and the kids are clean, my personal emails are clear and I am on top of work – everything is in it’s box and I have learned to appreciate those moments for what they are because they don’t come around that often. Sometimes, 80% is good enough. If 80% of my washing is done, if there is a little bit in the basket, then I don’t need to tick the box. Sometimes you have to accept that some things are out of your control. You just have to do what you can. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

I work for a good employer, so I only work four days a week. My one day a week off I spend on wearethecity, on my charities, on the awards, I pick my kids up and I drop them off. I have been offered lots of different jobs, even when I have been working here and I haven’t taken them because the employers were not open to me working flexibly. That doesn’t work for me as I have lots of commitments. I am a non exec to charities, I’m a school governor, I’ve got two kids and I can’t do it all without a certain level of flexibility from the people that I work for.”

How do you relax? Do you relax?

“Lots of people would say no, but I know when I need a break. In a couple of weeks, I am going off to Spain on my own for two days and I have booked my bed by the pool. I will just lay there. I relax by thinking, believe it or not. I am not like any girl. I don’t like shopping, believe it or not. I can’t think of anything worse than trying on clothes. I also have a big beef with high street sizes. You can go in one shop and feel great because you’re a size 12 and you go in another shop and you are in a 16. The labelling is all wrong. It can ruin your shopping experience.

“Because I am an only child I am quite comfortable in my own company. Much as I always say I need my sisters – I think the network that I hang out with are my family –  I still like taking time out to be on my own. I try and not do anything.

“I am never without my phone. I’ve got two and I can text on both of them at the same time. I will give any child a text competition run for their money. I get up at half five to get my own personal email down and get my own stuff done, so when the kids get up it’s their time. My life is like a military operation. So when I do get some down time, I do take it.”

Anything else?

“Wearethecity are opening a job board in September. Women can have a portfolio career. I want to teach women that they can come and work here. I would like to think in my lifetime that I make a difference. I would love for a woman to achieve something and we don’t all celebrate because it is not a rare thing. I hope that happens in my tenure, the next 40 years or however long I live. That would put a smile on my face.”

Part one is here.